lupestripe: (Default)
lupestripe ([personal profile] lupestripe) wrote2009-03-26 10:50 pm

Today

Today has been a very strange day. I feel that I have learned a lot - not only on how to present my views better but also on the nature of and people within the Fandom. I know that on occasions I may seem emo and I know that many of you probably can't understand why I feel the way that I do about myself. I know I am lucky in so far as most aspects of my life are complete but my mind has always played these games on me and I don't really know how to stop it.

As a group of friends, I think it's important to try and help each other through our own trials and lend a helping paw should it be needed. I accept that I made a mistake last night but that did not warrant the abuse that I received.

A lot of people were there for me today and I would like to thank you all for helping me put things in perspective. In the end, despite the negative aspects of the Fandom, there are some massive positive aspects too and I am touched by all the kind words that have been offered. Thanks also to the furs who phoned and texted me too - you know how to make a Lupe feel special :P

The reality is that I am always going to have these nueroeses because they are a part of my upbringing. Perhaps I need to try and focus on how to live with these rather than trying to change who I am. The paranoia and the fear will always be with me - it's part of my make-up - but I guess that that, in part, is what makes me who I am.

I can only apologise for the amount of times that I do become emo. I am not the most confident of people and I need a place to vent. LJ is that place. I am touched by your concern but please don't worry. It's normally just me being me.

Again, I would like to thank you for putting up with me and please know that I will do all I can to help you should you ever need it. The kind words today will not be forgotten and I would like to thank you all for accepting me. Perhaps I do fit in more than I think I do.

I will reply to your responses early next week as I am going to be away for a few days. I hope you all have a great weekend and thanks once again.

Love and hugs.

[identity profile] lauinav.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)
*hug* No worries, Lupes0r.

Well, I just dun wan you to leave! D: *clings*

Who else could I talk footy with otherwise! xD
*grins*

[identity profile] lupestripe.livejournal.com 2009-03-30 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll still always be in touch hun, it's just that the dynamic that I have with the Fandom may change, that's all. I definitely still want to keep in touch with you and indeed, next season when both are sides will be in the Championship, it will be great to go to each other's grounds :)

[identity profile] r-a-blackpaws.livejournal.com 2009-03-27 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs* If you need to talk, catch me online. Always willing to listen and try to help.

[identity profile] lupestripe.livejournal.com 2009-03-30 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks hun, much appreciated *hugs*. Things are a little better this side of the weekend - hope they improve soon though.

[identity profile] dark-raven-wolf.livejournal.com 2009-03-27 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
hell... I don't care how worked up you get in the moment, as long as you willing to listen to reason after the fact ^_^

have a good weekend yourself

[identity profile] lupestripe.livejournal.com 2009-03-30 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I am quite a passionate guy so I often do get worked up in the moment. I know I probably shouldn't but I sometimes I treat a disagreement as a personal attack. I know I shouldn't but I guess we all say silly things from time to time and we shouldn't beat ourselves up about it. I apologised for what I said although it was more the way I said it that was the issue.

Hope you had a good weekend - mine was rather good :)

[identity profile] sabotlours.livejournal.com 2009-03-27 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
*hugstight*

[identity profile] lupestripe.livejournal.com 2009-03-30 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs* thanks hun :)

[identity profile] metamorphosys.livejournal.com 2009-03-27 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
I hope it all works out :) Have a great time, whatever you are doing :) Take care.

[identity profile] lupestripe.livejournal.com 2009-03-30 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
The weekend was quite good - a few rough moments but generally things went very well. Got hit by a horrible wave of depression though once I returned home. Am hoping some sleep will sort it.

Hope you had a great weekend too hun :)

[identity profile] silent-o.livejournal.com 2009-03-29 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
-kicks self in head-

I'm sorry I missed this. I feel there is something I could have said that might have made you feel even just a little bit better.

Lupe, you are one of the most awesome guys I know. Never forget that.

-hugs, lots of them-

[identity profile] lupestripe.livejournal.com 2009-03-30 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
No worries hun, I'm glad you are saying it now. You're a great guy too and I can't wait to come and visit you in St Louis some time - that would be pawsome lols.

Hope you had a great weekend - mine was rather good but I feel a little down again now it's over *hugs*

[identity profile] silent-o.livejournal.com 2009-03-31 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
I live 129 km south of St. Louis, but as long as I get plenty of heads-up it shouldn't be a problem. When I go off to college I'll have to add another 48 km to the distance.

I'm sure we can figure something out...

[identity profile] lupestripe.livejournal.com 2009-03-31 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure we can - would be great to see you some time and tick off another US State I have visited :D