Gays, The Church And Me

[lupestripe]

An interesting dilemma has just presented itself.

I am going to Cambridge on Friday for a meal at my college with some of my university friends. One of them is a devout Catholic and, although he is a perfectly nice guy, he is somewhat intolerant of my lifestyle. He knows I am gay and prays for me apparently. He is perfectly friendly - nothing changed when I came out - but it's clear he doesn't approve of gays and the fact I am gay. He is not nasty, we have a laugh and a joke, and ultimately little has changed. He is not a bad person, I just think his views are wrong.

That's fine really, people are entitled to their views and I have no real right to proselytise. It's sad he thinks like this but before now it has been rather benign and very easy to overlook. We all have different opinions and experiences after all. However, he is now urging his friends on Facebook to sign up to Archbishop Carey's Coalition For Marriage against equal marriage laws for homosexuals. To me, this has now crossed a line as he is actively campaigning against something I believe should be an intrinsic freedom in a secular and progressive society. And of course what he is doing could and will have a direct impact on my life.

I was meant to be sharing a room with him in Cambridge on Friday but am now unsure whether I want to. I will have to make alternate arrangements in either Cambridge or London but that may be for the best. I doubt the conversation would drift on to this topic as he is respectful of alternative views but I am not sure I want to tempt fate. It's a difficult one to call.

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Comments

[guitar-stitch.livejournal.com]

I'm the oddball here... to each his own, live and let live, etc. If he wants to campaign against something, that's his choice. Just means that you have to work extra hard in the counter campaign. Keep it professional, keep it strictly on the topic and not personal on the individual level, and remain pleasant. Nothing diffuses tension and promotes acceptance better than being tolerant yourself. Regardless of whether it's race, religion, sexuality, or political stance.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I do agree with you but once you start trying to convert others in such a way, or actively discriminate against a particular group of people, my tolerance does dry up. I will remain pleasant at the event itself but fear that, given there will be alcohol, the tension may bubble to the surface.

[guitar-stitch.livejournal.com]

You also are putting too much thought into it. Focus on the event and not on the conflict. If the topic comes up, very clearly state that you do not wish to engage in conversation about that subject at this time and that you respectfully request that he do the same. :)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

You are right. I think this time, I will stay elsewhere for my own sense of ease but I certainly won't bring the topic up.