Tales From The Transvestite Bar

Wolfie and I went into Leeds last night to meet up with Patter and Crysta. It was a good night all told albeit one packed full of incident.

Apart from the inevitable delayed bus - or in this case a cancelled one delaying us by half an hour and forcing us to buy a cheese sandwich whilst we moaned with our fellow travellers - the first thing was watching a lady being pedicured on the street - apparently her heels were giving her problems. However, as it was only 8.20pm, by evening's end I wondered what kind of mangled mess her feet would be in. Ah the price of fashion and the allure of the woman on the pull.

We were headed to Blayds, a pokey little bar in the gay district which seemed to turn more into a transvestite bar as the night wore on. I imagine it was exactly like the Molly's Clubs of the early eighteenth century as men in their fourties and fifties (invariably - no young people there for whatever reason) crammed into the building looking for a friendly and relaxed place to indulge in their proclivity. As the night wore on, I did start to feel a little inappropriately dressed and wished I had thrown a dress on myself, something I have done numerous times in the past as we started to become the only four people who were not in drag. I also realised that I am fundamentally scared of wigs. I don't know why but I am just creeped out by them - one wig that a man was wearing made him look like Anne Widdecombe. Eddie Izzard can get away without wearing one and it works far better than if he wore one. I guess it's a matter of personal taste.

The atmosphere was relaxed but the music was the usual pop R&B stuff that seems to define most gay bars. Whenever a good song came on, the DJ dashed over to change it to more R&B. I have never been to a gay metal bar in my life and I wonder if these places even exist. Is it because metal fans are generally more tolerant than those of mainstream music? I don't believe that gay people solely enjoy R&B and techno, that's for sure. Anyway, the volume was ear-shattering and we soon couldn't even chat let alone enjoy the very poor selection of beer on offer. So we left and headed to The Brewery Tap, one of my favourite bars.

The Brewery Tap was nice and quiet - busy without being heaving. It had a Bohemian atmosphere to parallel its continental taste of beer and the barman was always interested in having a chat. It's a place I find relaxing and as it's owned by Leeds Brewery, it has a good range of beer and snacks too. More importantly, we could chat and we had a pleasureable two hours catching up whilst trying to identify in which year the large aerial photo of Leeds was taken. We think early Sixties. The bar staff didn't know but we did find out the picture had been left there from the building's previous function as a photography studio.

After this, for no real reason, we decided to go to McDonald's where I ordered a cheeseburger happy meal as I didn't want to get fatter than I already am. Secretly, I just wanted the cheeseburger but Wolfie tempted me with fries too. I also got a stumpy ickle Coke. Sadly, I didn't get the little box or the toy with my meal, despite asking for the former specifically. Sad really but the food was nice. We then got a taxi home, chatting to a friendly driver whom we tipped. Yep, good night all told really.

Tales From The Transvestite Bar

Wolfie and I went into Leeds last night to meet up with Patter and Crysta. It was a good night all told albeit one packed full of incident.

Apart from the inevitable delayed bus - or in this case a cancelled one delaying us by half an hour and forcing us to buy a cheese sandwich whilst we moaned with our fellow travellers - the first thing was watching a lady being pedicured on the street - apparently her heels were giving her problems. However, as it was only 8.20pm, by evening's end I wondered what kind of mangled mess her feet would be in. Ah the price of fashion and the allure of the woman on the pull.

We were headed to Blayds, a pokey little bar in the gay district which seemed to turn more into a transvestite bar as the night wore on. I imagine it was exactly like the Molly's Clubs of the early eighteenth century as men in their fourties and fifties (invariably - no young people there for whatever reason) crammed into the building looking for a friendly and relaxed place to indulge in their proclivity. As the night wore on, I did start to feel a little inappropriately dressed and wished I had thrown a dress on myself, something I have done numerous times in the past as we started to become the only four people who were not in drag. I also realised that I am fundamentally scared of wigs. I don't know why but I am just creeped out by them - one wig that a man was wearing made him look like Anne Widdecombe. Eddie Izzard can get away without wearing one and it works far better than if he wore one. I guess it's a matter of personal taste.

The atmosphere was relaxed but the music was the usual pop R&B stuff that seems to define most gay bars. Whenever a good song came on, the DJ dashed over to change it to more R&B. I have never been to a gay metal bar in my life and I wonder if these places even exist. Is it because metal fans are generally more tolerant than those of mainstream music? I don't believe that gay people solely enjoy R&B and techno, that's for sure. Anyway, the volume was ear-shattering and we soon couldn't even chat let alone enjoy the very poor selection of beer on offer. So we left and headed to The Brewery Tap, one of my favourite bars.

The Brewery Tap was nice and quiet - busy without being heaving. It had a Bohemian atmosphere to parallel its continental taste of beer and the barman was always interested in having a chat. It's a place I find relaxing and as it's owned by Leeds Brewery, it has a good range of beer and snacks too. More importantly, we could chat and we had a pleasureable two hours catching up whilst trying to identify in which year the large aerial photo of Leeds was taken. We think early Sixties. The bar staff didn't know but we did find out the picture had been left there from the building's previous function as a photography studio.

After this, for no real reason, we decided to go to McDonald's where I ordered a cheeseburger happy meal as I didn't want to get fatter than I already am. Secretly, I just wanted the cheeseburger but Wolfie tempted me with fries too. I also got a stumpy ickle Coke. Sadly, I didn't get the little box or the toy with my meal, despite asking for the former specifically. Sad really but the food was nice. We then got a taxi home, chatting to a friendly driver whom we tipped. Yep, good night all told really.