The Turtles Made Them Famous

St Petersburg is one of those places that just keeps astounding you. Around every corner there is a beautiful building and this extends to my experience of The Hermitage, one of the world's most famous art galleries.

Before this however I had a little issue with the world's most helpful bank as they had blocked my card due to concerns about fraud. Apparently this is an automated system despite me telling them of my intentions before I left on this trip. The fear of being penniless in a foreign land is a palpable concern and I had to ring a myriad of different numbers before finally speaking to someone. To be fair, they then sorted the issue immediately but that's more international phone calling I didn't particularly need. While all this was happening, there was a jovial so-and-so handing out leaflets dressed as a sandwich. He hardly assuaged my fear.

The Hermitage is housed in a beautiful green building which forms one side of the Winter Palace, which was stormed by the Bolsheviks as part of the October Revolution of 1917. Sadly the main rooms of the Palace were closed for renovation (for just the few days we happen to be here) so we just had to content ourselves with the museum. However the place is so vast and is so crammed full of treasures, you would struggle to get round it in a day anyway.

Despite the Hermitage being renowned for its extensive art collection, it was the architecture which really called out to me. Some of the rooms were vast, with gold plate or marbled columns adding a sense of sheer opulence. The Malachite Room with its deep rich colour and the rubescent throne room were both wonderful. The golden clock which featured a peacock, a dragonfly and a mushroom within its mechanics was a triumph of style melding with engineering. The main staircase was equally stunning and words fail to do justice to this grand building. We have taken pictures and video from our time there, which we will post next week, but even those don't portray the full grandiose and breathtaking nature of this place.

And this is without even considering the art, a who's who of famous artists from throughout the ages. 21 paintings by Rembrandt, 2 from Da Vinci, plus various works from Van Gogh, Picasso, Monet, Cezannes, Gaugin, Renoir, Manet, Daumier, Titian, Raphael, Michaelangelo, Carravaggio, Melzi and Rousseau to name just a few. The sculptures in particular were works of sheer genius and without wishing to sound all luvvie, it was a privilege to observe some of the finest artwork ever created.

What did surprise me was that although flash photography is banned, there isn't total prohibition on all forms of photography. And the best exhibits happened to be the ones from India and China rather than the more famous artistic examples. That's what I thought anyway.

After a whole afternoon walking around the gallery, we needed to rest our barking (and in Wolfie's case blistered) paws so we headed to the German themed Jaeger Bar for a drink or two. They had sine excellent beers here, which I will cover in my forthcoming Beer Tasting Notes, and we also sampled some Beer Toast, warm rye bread coated with paprika and served with sour cream. We were waiting for Tony and his band of merry furs and as we did, we ended up watching Baby Time TV - a pop music show dedicated to kids music videos such as Annoying Frog and Bob the Builder. Wolfybaby's favourite Baby Lily was there too!

Thankfully the furry trio soon saved us from the nightmare (thankfully the sound had been turned down) and we soon found ourselves walking over Dvortsoviy Most, one of the stunning bridges over the shimmering River Neva. It was raining again by this point, just the usual persistent light drizzle crap, bit we didn't let that worry us.

On Vasilevskiy Island we spied two lighthouses to enable ships to navigate around the island. We also saw the Naval Museum, the Kunstkammer and the old stock exchange from when St Petersburg used to be the capital city of Russia. All three are yet more examples of the wondrous architecture of this city.

Over Birzhevoy Most and onto the Petrograd side where we discovered the price of fuel here is 58 pence per litre. Still reeling from this shock, we headed to Zayachiy Island, a small mass of land just off the coast in the middle of the Neva. Literally meaning Rabbit Island, it is most famous for being the place where St Petersburg was born. The Peter and Paul Fortress is testament to this, as is the planned village surrounding it. In the middle sits a statue of Peter the Great, with a rather small head.

Dragon had to head off at this point, leaving just Trisha and Tony behind. I was doing my best to scare them too as we headed to the first house in the city, which is now protected on a glass cage. Further down the coast is the bright blue building of the Navy School and the cruiser Aurora which played a pivotal role in the October Revolution.

It was then on to a bar for some fun and hijinks. We walked through a few more districts before changing our preferred destination, opting to get on the Metro and head to the centre of town instead. There we went to the Kontakt Bar, a chain of pubs here which brew their own beer. They also have a 3.5 litre option where the beer comes to you in a tall plastic barrel with a tap at the bottom.

Tony suggested we try the dark beer which was sweet and very delicious. We had quite a few of these, as well as a pickle pepperoni pizza which was delicious. Trisha kept saying how cute Wolfie and I were as we chatted about a wide range of different things. We also posted some scary photos on twitter.

Ar around 2am we decided to try sheesha from one of those bubbly water pipe things. Smoking is completely legal indoors here - as testified by my stinky smoky clothes this morning - and as I have never tried the pipe before I thought I would give it a go. We opted for apple and watermelon flavour but the two merely combined to taste like orange. I found the whole experience very relaxing and thankfully without the abrasive edge which comes with proper smoking.

It was around 3.30am when we left, having spent less than £15 each all evening. We got back to our hostel at around four, waking up the poor receptionist en route. I showed everyone my dog cock before collapsing into bed, happy and contented.

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