The Brew Mew

Thursday evening saw me, Wolfie, Patter and Taneli (in that order) descend on Pudsey Civic Hall to enjoy the 12th annual Leeds Real Ale Festival, where there are many real ales to try, much mirth to be had and then strong hangovers to endure. We tried 11 in the end, all halves, in the presence of some delightful company.

We discovered why the local Wetherspoons is called The Crossed Shuttle as we noticed the motif on Pudsey's coat of arms, along with a pillow. We like celebrate sleeping here. Wolfie bought me a chili dog coated in chili con carne which just distintegrated due to the moistness. I also discovered three new brews from the Nøgne ø brewery, which Wolfie had to help me buy with his magic wallet of money, and some Golden Wonder crisps, ubiquituous in my childhood but rather absent these days.

I arrived earlier than everyone else, getting in during the 15 minute period before regular opening for CAMRA members and spent nearly an hour on me tod at the Festival. However, there were many interesting people to speak to, including the confectionary lady and a woman selling Candian chocolate sweets. These were tri-layered and came in different flavours - Canadian Summer (jaffa cake + chocolate) and Canadian Winter (mint + chocolate) were my favourite. So fattening yet so gorgeous. The Canadian lady, from Vancouver, was very interesting and gave me tonnes of usual advice for my forthcoming trip there, including where to get cheap flights. Very useful indeed.

Aside from that, we spent six happy hours at the Beer Festival before we headed home to pick up Panthras, who was staying the night at ours ahead of a job interview he had on Friday. We met up with him in said Wetherspoons, another mistake really as the next morning proved. Taneli stayed the night and got a sore arm, Wolfie had a sore head and work yesterday was tough due to painful bowels. Still, it was a great evening and hopefully we can do the same again next year.

*As a related aside, our home brewing stuff arrived yesterday, conveniently when Panthras was in our house waiting for his interview while Wolfie and I were both at work. Sadly, the fermenting barrel has a huge crack in the bottom, rendering it useless, so I can't start being the brew pup yet. The company has agreed to replace it though and a new barrel will be sent out on Monday. Always deal with small companies as they tend to be nice and offer good customer service. Hooray!

Mark Steel - Mark Steel's In Town: One Man's Tour Of Modern Britain

March has been quite a month for seeing comedians, this being our third gig in the space of three weeks. However, Mister Wuffle and I trundled off to the delightful market town of Skipton in the pissing rain to see left wing polemicist Mark Steel on his latest tour, Mark Steel's In Town.

I'll admit it's rather odd seeing a comedian in a venue that by day functions as a cattle auction house. The farming community makes for a surreal environment which smells faintly of moist hay and bovine piss. Posters on the walls for tractor suppliers and questioning whether your lambs suffer from coccidiosis hang with an advert for the Samaritans above the main auditorium. Times are tough under the Tories but then these fuckers probably voted for them.

The stage was a temporary erection on a concrete floor, washed clean from urine earlier that day as steal vents dangled from the ceiling in futility, trying to waft the countryside pungeance away. All credit to Steel though who worked the audience well under the conditions, including the Geordie who ruined one of his punchlines and the beligierent Welsh man who was upset about Steel discussing Welsh language channel S4C. He wasn't even being insulting, just questioning what Welsh Countdown would be like.

Any tour that combines comedy with geography, and specifically visiting places, is going to be a winner in my book and this one didn't disappoint. I had first heard about this tour on a toilet in Bristol at Frantic Eufuria and had hoped to see him in Barnsley last December. Instead I waited so Wolfie was with me and I am glad to say he enjoyed it too. But how could you not enjoy a tour which was inspired by Skipton, its relationship with Keighley and then became a major show on Radio 4?

The concept of the tour is to dismiss the notion that every town in Britain looks the same, a commonly held view considering that the same retail outlets now exist wherever you go. Yes there are Greggs and Tescos and Foot Lockers everywhere but the soul of a place goes far beyond superficial and cosmetic things such as these. Apparances can be deceptive after all - my recent forays into Bradford have proven that. Steel discussed some of the interesting places he had visited on tour, interspersing his travelogues with relevant facts about the places he had been to and why they made these places different and unique. He focused on the rivalies between towns, the monuments which reside there and the little things Brits celebrate about their birthplaces which, in reality, are just a little bit shit. Google the Walsall Hippo if you want a perfect example of this.

Steel was quite glowing and positive about Britain as a whole, despite his anger over politics, call centres and the more invasive actions of multinational corporations. He made a quip about Middlesbrough, my hometown, which was harsh but probably not unfair. I did tell him this afterwards when he was signing the book to accompany the tour. He was a little distracted as we were the last ones there and he wanted to go to the pub before closing time but he did enjoy our conversation about Greggs Moment in Newcastle as part of a more general group discussion between him and around 10 of us. He also urged me to 'find the soul of Middlesbrough' upon signing my book, which is a marvellous thing to write in the context of the tour.

I know I have said you should see all the comedians I have seen thus far but this one is a definite must. The evening was hilarious, Steel was on stage for nearly three hours and the whole thing cost a mere £14. He plays delightfully small venues which are full of character and if you want to find out interesting little titbits of information about places like Penzance, Orkney and Didcot, then this is the tour for you.