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Why I Left The UK
Nov. 14th, 2020 02:31 pmWe have been in Germany for a week, with things largely on track. Our belongings got delivered late on Thursday evening and despite my computer having picked up a huge dent, everything arrived safely. Meanwhile, I managed to do a little work on Friday, catching up with the things I had missed over the previous week in preparation for the start of a big new project next week. Having no computer for a week has afforded me the opportunity to pause for reflection, aided by my daily rambles around the local neighbourhood. This has led me to consider why I decided to leave the UK.
I guess the die was cast when the EU Referendum result came in, during the early hours of 24 June 2016. That morning felt like a sucker punch and I was winded for much of the subsequent month. I was shocked that the country could swallow the lies of the Leave crew as well as vote for isolation and nativism at a time when international cooperation had never been more important. Most cogently though, I felt my views were no longer in-step with the nation. Prior to the vote, I always had the sense of being born in the wrong place as the UK never truly felt like home, and the referendum result merely catalysed that. As Theresa May pressed on with her interpretation of Brexit, derived without consultation from anybody, and as Remainers were frequently slandered as 'enemies of the people', this dislocation only became more acute. I would have stomached an EEA/EFTA Brexit, but not the ultra hard-line Brexit that the UK is now going to get. What was worst, was that my freedom to live and work in 31 other countries was being taken away without my consent, not regretfully but it was actually being celebrated. I fought as hard as I could up until the end of 2019 to try and reverse Brexit - signing petitions, going on marches, donating money and spreading awareness - but without support from the Labour leadership, our chances were always slim. Once Boris Johnson was elected last December, I knew we were done. The primary objective of 2020 was therefore to relocate.
The election of a pathological liar who had prorogued Parliament unlawfully with an 80-seat majority was the point I gave up on Britain. His performance during the COVID pandemic has been woefully predictable, but the warning signs had been there all along. I no longer felt the British Government gave a toss about me, my livelihood, my health or any of my friends. Brexit was always going to make things difficult professionally, but having been made redundant in July and then setting up my own business, it also became increasingly clear that Germany now offered far more opportunities than the UK ever could. Furthermore, having had frequent correspondence with my local pro-Brexit Tory MP and having been fobbed off with lip service throughout, I also realised that there was no-one politically to whom I could air any grievance. All our local counsillors are Tories, as is the MP, and at least when we were in the EU, we had some Labour MEPs to whom I could turn. Now, any request I would make would be roundly ignored, meaning I would have no representation and no agency whatsoever. In previous governments, there was always a view of losers' consent and your MP would try and take your concerns on board. Alas, in the current culture wars, Remainers are the enemy and thus not to be given the slightest inch.
There are a number of other factors too. I have lived in Leeds for over ten years and had started to get a little bored with it. It's a great place, but I feel I have seen it and done it, which is why I was itching for somewhere new. I had also seen my friends drift away - some to other groups and others to different parts of the country. I still miss them, but the one advantage of COVID as that we haven't seen them in so long, that the online meet-ups are very much a case of the same thing but in a different location. Indeed, with the UK and Germany both currently under month-long lockdowns, this week has very much been a case of same shit, different location.
I also felt there was an increasing nastiness in the UK. Seeing friends pilloried for their nationality or sexuality became increasingly common and meant I felt increasingly less comfortable being LGBT as things went on. The culture war stuff is quite pervasive and, as we have recently seen with trans rights, I fear that more gay attacks are coming. I am aware Germany too has its problems, but at least they don't have a government whose currency seems to be dealing in it. I was also highly stressed, with each day of powerlessness and government incompetence making me feel increasingly insecure. I was always on edge, frequently unhappy and often quite paranoid. This was having knock-on effects with Wolfie, my friends and my family, and it'll take a long time to recover. Ultimately, I don't like the angry person I became.
On top of these push factors, there were also pull factors too. I have always wanted to move to the continent and it was always going to be easier to do so before the end of the transition period. The fact that this, recklessly, terminates at the end of 2020 rather than next year also causes me significant concern. It is clear the UK is not ready and there will be major disruption in January, and yet no-one in Government seems to be on top of things. If they can botch COVID, then they can certainly botch this, and moving now was a way to insulate myself from the worst effects of their incompetence. The sad thing is that for the next seven years I'll still be beholden to the British Government in some respects, but hopefully less directly than I otherwise would have been. However, in the end, all of the circumstances seemed right: I had lost my job in July, Wolfie was sick of his job and had wanted to quit for a while and we were in a financial position to be able to give it a go.
The lure of Berlin has always been in its beer, music and particularly fetish scene. In the UK, it's always a struggle to find anywhere decent for fetish - there are few dedicated clubs, meaning all you tend to get is a music night with some gear. While there is value to these, it's nothing compared to a fully equipped dungeon, while I also know from trying to arrange pony events that the more liberal attitude the Europeans have is far more conducive to my own desires. It is also useful that we have many friends here so, once we can all meet up again, we won't be alone. I do deeply miss my house in the UK, as well as my British friends, but I still feel this is the right decision. We still need to sort out the registration process and nothing is set in stone. We are taking it one step at a time and have agreed to see how the first six months go before making any firm decisions on our future. By this time, Wolfie should have passed his probation period at his new job and my business should be more established. Hopefully, the effects of COVID will be less acute too and we can start to experience more of the city beyond the four walls of our flat and our locale. However, deep-down, I am hoping to stay here permanently and get citizenship in seven years' time. All that is still a long way away though and much can change. This time in 2013, we were in the process of buying our house and Brexit was a barely uttered word. Look at where we are now. Whatever happens though, we will still have ties in the UK as well as our house, so will be back there regularly. This is very much a Tschuss rather than an Auf Wiedersehen.
I guess the die was cast when the EU Referendum result came in, during the early hours of 24 June 2016. That morning felt like a sucker punch and I was winded for much of the subsequent month. I was shocked that the country could swallow the lies of the Leave crew as well as vote for isolation and nativism at a time when international cooperation had never been more important. Most cogently though, I felt my views were no longer in-step with the nation. Prior to the vote, I always had the sense of being born in the wrong place as the UK never truly felt like home, and the referendum result merely catalysed that. As Theresa May pressed on with her interpretation of Brexit, derived without consultation from anybody, and as Remainers were frequently slandered as 'enemies of the people', this dislocation only became more acute. I would have stomached an EEA/EFTA Brexit, but not the ultra hard-line Brexit that the UK is now going to get. What was worst, was that my freedom to live and work in 31 other countries was being taken away without my consent, not regretfully but it was actually being celebrated. I fought as hard as I could up until the end of 2019 to try and reverse Brexit - signing petitions, going on marches, donating money and spreading awareness - but without support from the Labour leadership, our chances were always slim. Once Boris Johnson was elected last December, I knew we were done. The primary objective of 2020 was therefore to relocate.
The election of a pathological liar who had prorogued Parliament unlawfully with an 80-seat majority was the point I gave up on Britain. His performance during the COVID pandemic has been woefully predictable, but the warning signs had been there all along. I no longer felt the British Government gave a toss about me, my livelihood, my health or any of my friends. Brexit was always going to make things difficult professionally, but having been made redundant in July and then setting up my own business, it also became increasingly clear that Germany now offered far more opportunities than the UK ever could. Furthermore, having had frequent correspondence with my local pro-Brexit Tory MP and having been fobbed off with lip service throughout, I also realised that there was no-one politically to whom I could air any grievance. All our local counsillors are Tories, as is the MP, and at least when we were in the EU, we had some Labour MEPs to whom I could turn. Now, any request I would make would be roundly ignored, meaning I would have no representation and no agency whatsoever. In previous governments, there was always a view of losers' consent and your MP would try and take your concerns on board. Alas, in the current culture wars, Remainers are the enemy and thus not to be given the slightest inch.
There are a number of other factors too. I have lived in Leeds for over ten years and had started to get a little bored with it. It's a great place, but I feel I have seen it and done it, which is why I was itching for somewhere new. I had also seen my friends drift away - some to other groups and others to different parts of the country. I still miss them, but the one advantage of COVID as that we haven't seen them in so long, that the online meet-ups are very much a case of the same thing but in a different location. Indeed, with the UK and Germany both currently under month-long lockdowns, this week has very much been a case of same shit, different location.
I also felt there was an increasing nastiness in the UK. Seeing friends pilloried for their nationality or sexuality became increasingly common and meant I felt increasingly less comfortable being LGBT as things went on. The culture war stuff is quite pervasive and, as we have recently seen with trans rights, I fear that more gay attacks are coming. I am aware Germany too has its problems, but at least they don't have a government whose currency seems to be dealing in it. I was also highly stressed, with each day of powerlessness and government incompetence making me feel increasingly insecure. I was always on edge, frequently unhappy and often quite paranoid. This was having knock-on effects with Wolfie, my friends and my family, and it'll take a long time to recover. Ultimately, I don't like the angry person I became.
On top of these push factors, there were also pull factors too. I have always wanted to move to the continent and it was always going to be easier to do so before the end of the transition period. The fact that this, recklessly, terminates at the end of 2020 rather than next year also causes me significant concern. It is clear the UK is not ready and there will be major disruption in January, and yet no-one in Government seems to be on top of things. If they can botch COVID, then they can certainly botch this, and moving now was a way to insulate myself from the worst effects of their incompetence. The sad thing is that for the next seven years I'll still be beholden to the British Government in some respects, but hopefully less directly than I otherwise would have been. However, in the end, all of the circumstances seemed right: I had lost my job in July, Wolfie was sick of his job and had wanted to quit for a while and we were in a financial position to be able to give it a go.
The lure of Berlin has always been in its beer, music and particularly fetish scene. In the UK, it's always a struggle to find anywhere decent for fetish - there are few dedicated clubs, meaning all you tend to get is a music night with some gear. While there is value to these, it's nothing compared to a fully equipped dungeon, while I also know from trying to arrange pony events that the more liberal attitude the Europeans have is far more conducive to my own desires. It is also useful that we have many friends here so, once we can all meet up again, we won't be alone. I do deeply miss my house in the UK, as well as my British friends, but I still feel this is the right decision. We still need to sort out the registration process and nothing is set in stone. We are taking it one step at a time and have agreed to see how the first six months go before making any firm decisions on our future. By this time, Wolfie should have passed his probation period at his new job and my business should be more established. Hopefully, the effects of COVID will be less acute too and we can start to experience more of the city beyond the four walls of our flat and our locale. However, deep-down, I am hoping to stay here permanently and get citizenship in seven years' time. All that is still a long way away though and much can change. This time in 2013, we were in the process of buying our house and Brexit was a barely uttered word. Look at where we are now. Whatever happens though, we will still have ties in the UK as well as our house, so will be back there regularly. This is very much a Tschuss rather than an Auf Wiedersehen.
