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By any conceivable measure, 2020 has been a pretty horrendous year. And yet, ultimately, I have still managed to achieve what I set out to do. I'll admit that the route was somewhat circuitous as I certainly didn't think I would be made redundant in July, but in some respects that was a blessing in disguise. I didn't like the office culture since the takeover and I felt completely unfilled. I also knew, deep down, that they probably wouldn't enable me to move to Germany. Considering this was the primary priority of the year, I must admit I am pretty proud that we were able to do it. Perhaps it's foolhardy to relocate in the middle of a pandemic, but the Brexit process afforded us no more time. As such, it was very much a case of now or never. Sitting in Germany reflecting on our move, I'll admit that it has been hugely stressful and I really miss certain elements of our life in the UK - particularly our house of seven years - but I don't regret the decision. Indeed, my resolve has only been strengthened by the passing of the Brexit bill today and the clear indictation from both of the major political parties that the views of Remainers are again secondary and that we should all 'come together' despite no-one giving a slightest fig of an interest to our views.
Despite feeling I am better off out of the UK, I am still saddened by its recent path. I'm also very concerned about friends and family still there. However, I also have to accept that Brexit is over and that nothing is likely to change for at least the next decade. The lies and obfuscation from its leading proponents will be with Britain for the next three years at least, probably longer, and if 72,000 dead people from COVID isn't enough to change people's minds, I don't know what is. Brexit has consumed my life for four and a half years and it can consume my life no longer. I am fortunate that I am starting a new position in Germany with a company that has been very accommodating regarding the bureaucratic hoops through which I must jump. I have now started all of the relevant processes and I'm hoping my residence will be granted in the coming months. At such time, I feel I must look ahead to my life here rather than looking back at my life there, even if I do really miss more of the UK than I expected.
Speaking to Adia and Enteirah, as well as Fenra, this evening merely highlights this and when things return to normal and meets continue without us, making the sense of longing will become more acute. However, we will be able to meet people in Berlin by then and hopefully have our British friends come to stay over. Adia and Enteirah have been amongst the people who have kept us sane this year, along with Gothicat and her fantastic Catnip Radio sets, and Stray who is the best friend anyone could hope to have. His Saturday evening Jackbox sessions, which have been going every week since March, have always been one of the highlights of the week and a good opportunity to keep in touch. By adding live streaming of rock gigs on a Sunday, we got to revisit a load of bands' back catalogues we had forgotten we knew, while lockdown also enabled Wolfie and I to listen to a whole load of new bands we hadn't known before. Finally, the Pony Play crew and particularly Lunar Belle have also helped us, particularly during the brief respite in August when we got to meet up. The last ten months have been tough, but these friends have helped us hugely. The same is true of Arcais and Taneli, who often came around during the summer for BBQs, which were amongst some of the best nights of the year.
I am desperate to go to the pub again and see friends. Lockdown II is more maddening than the first, simply because the weather is so bad and we're all stuck indoors. Added to this is the stresses of starting a new job and all of the trials of relocation and things are quite tense. Wolfie and I have largely ebbed and flowed in terms of our relationship - it's not where I want it to be in some areas, but we have proven surprisingly adaptive and compatible when it comes to living on top of each other. Going from only seeing each other on weekends and evenings to a 24/7 existance I thought would be tough, but we have managed it reasonably well I'll say.
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and we don't know what it'll bring. The UK will finally have left the EU, which is making me sadder than I thought it would, while I doubt we'll be able to see our friends any time in the next few months. We do have a few things planned for the weekend though and I guess we'll just have to plough on and see what happens. Vaccinations give us hope and even though things will be grim for a while, there is at least light at the end of the tunnel. In addition to the hellscape of COVID-19, I lost my grandmother back in January, attending her funeral in early February. This was the first bereavement I had suffered in a while and although not entirely unexpected, it was still quite a wrench. What was worse though was not being able to see my grandfather for his birthday in April, and maybe not being able to see him next April either. I am writing to him and he is appreciative, but he's nearly 92 and I am acutely aware he may not have long left. I hope I get to see him soon.
This is not to say the whole year has been bad. Indeed, the opening ten weeks were rather good. We managed to go to Ireland, Paris, Nordic Fuzzcon, Gdakon, Wales and my first ever pony play weekend, where I got to pull a cart for the first time. I also started the year losing weight, shifting 4kg before lockdown began and I resolved to worry about this later as alcohol was one of the few indulgences I had left. We also managed to hit something like eight BrewDog bars, including Headingley in October, although quite a few sadly closed. Lockdown I also enabled us to appreciate our neighbours, with the weekly NHS clapping providing a good opportunity to meet them and check they were all okay. I even fursuited for some of them, indeed the last time I did fursuit was at the last NHS clap in May. The VE Day fish and chip celebration on our street, under blue skies and blazing sun, was another highlight and yet all of this was tinged with incredulity at the sheer incompetence and corruption of the British Government.
I hope everyone has a great new year and that 2021 is significantly better than 2020.
Despite feeling I am better off out of the UK, I am still saddened by its recent path. I'm also very concerned about friends and family still there. However, I also have to accept that Brexit is over and that nothing is likely to change for at least the next decade. The lies and obfuscation from its leading proponents will be with Britain for the next three years at least, probably longer, and if 72,000 dead people from COVID isn't enough to change people's minds, I don't know what is. Brexit has consumed my life for four and a half years and it can consume my life no longer. I am fortunate that I am starting a new position in Germany with a company that has been very accommodating regarding the bureaucratic hoops through which I must jump. I have now started all of the relevant processes and I'm hoping my residence will be granted in the coming months. At such time, I feel I must look ahead to my life here rather than looking back at my life there, even if I do really miss more of the UK than I expected.
Speaking to Adia and Enteirah, as well as Fenra, this evening merely highlights this and when things return to normal and meets continue without us, making the sense of longing will become more acute. However, we will be able to meet people in Berlin by then and hopefully have our British friends come to stay over. Adia and Enteirah have been amongst the people who have kept us sane this year, along with Gothicat and her fantastic Catnip Radio sets, and Stray who is the best friend anyone could hope to have. His Saturday evening Jackbox sessions, which have been going every week since March, have always been one of the highlights of the week and a good opportunity to keep in touch. By adding live streaming of rock gigs on a Sunday, we got to revisit a load of bands' back catalogues we had forgotten we knew, while lockdown also enabled Wolfie and I to listen to a whole load of new bands we hadn't known before. Finally, the Pony Play crew and particularly Lunar Belle have also helped us, particularly during the brief respite in August when we got to meet up. The last ten months have been tough, but these friends have helped us hugely. The same is true of Arcais and Taneli, who often came around during the summer for BBQs, which were amongst some of the best nights of the year.
I am desperate to go to the pub again and see friends. Lockdown II is more maddening than the first, simply because the weather is so bad and we're all stuck indoors. Added to this is the stresses of starting a new job and all of the trials of relocation and things are quite tense. Wolfie and I have largely ebbed and flowed in terms of our relationship - it's not where I want it to be in some areas, but we have proven surprisingly adaptive and compatible when it comes to living on top of each other. Going from only seeing each other on weekends and evenings to a 24/7 existance I thought would be tough, but we have managed it reasonably well I'll say.
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and we don't know what it'll bring. The UK will finally have left the EU, which is making me sadder than I thought it would, while I doubt we'll be able to see our friends any time in the next few months. We do have a few things planned for the weekend though and I guess we'll just have to plough on and see what happens. Vaccinations give us hope and even though things will be grim for a while, there is at least light at the end of the tunnel. In addition to the hellscape of COVID-19, I lost my grandmother back in January, attending her funeral in early February. This was the first bereavement I had suffered in a while and although not entirely unexpected, it was still quite a wrench. What was worse though was not being able to see my grandfather for his birthday in April, and maybe not being able to see him next April either. I am writing to him and he is appreciative, but he's nearly 92 and I am acutely aware he may not have long left. I hope I get to see him soon.
This is not to say the whole year has been bad. Indeed, the opening ten weeks were rather good. We managed to go to Ireland, Paris, Nordic Fuzzcon, Gdakon, Wales and my first ever pony play weekend, where I got to pull a cart for the first time. I also started the year losing weight, shifting 4kg before lockdown began and I resolved to worry about this later as alcohol was one of the few indulgences I had left. We also managed to hit something like eight BrewDog bars, including Headingley in October, although quite a few sadly closed. Lockdown I also enabled us to appreciate our neighbours, with the weekly NHS clapping providing a good opportunity to meet them and check they were all okay. I even fursuited for some of them, indeed the last time I did fursuit was at the last NHS clap in May. The VE Day fish and chip celebration on our street, under blue skies and blazing sun, was another highlight and yet all of this was tinged with incredulity at the sheer incompetence and corruption of the British Government.
I hope everyone has a great new year and that 2021 is significantly better than 2020.
