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Lieferschein
Jun. 20th, 2021 04:13 pmIt has been a swelteringly hot weekend, hitting 35C on each of the last four days. That has made this house quite unbearable as, as well as having no fan or air conditioning, there's no real draft or through-flow due to the windows opening out on the courtyard. It has been the kind of heat that has made you sweat just by sitting in it, with the additional warmth generated by this computer making it worse. We have confirmed we will pick up the keys to our new flat on Thursday week, 1 July, so we don't want to invest in bulky cooling equipment only to have to move it in a few weeks time, so we'll just have to sit and suffer. Fortunately, the temperature is going down slightly from tomorrow and will be at 25C next weekend, which is much more palatable.
Yesterday was the Leeds Meet, but hardly anyone turned up to it, which makes me wonder why I bother too. I grey out the third weekend of the month for the meet and while I accept that the online ones have limited appeal, it would be nice at least if some of the staff bothered to be there - it always seems to be Wolfie and I running the show. The coffee meets have gone by the wayside and while opening up gives greater opportunities for socialising, we aren't quite there yet with the return of large gatherings. I accept though, as seems to be the case yesterday, that others would rather be out in smaller groups than being at an online meet. However, being sat in this sweltering room all day when I would have rather been outside myself was frustrating. Despite this, we did manage to stream a couple of the Euro 2020 football matches, which was enjoyable. It was also great speaking to Kirian some more, as well as the few other people who were there.
We have spent a fair bit of time with Note recently, and he too was at the meet. Indeed, we have been streaming a number of the Euro 2020 games online, including Friday's England game and yesterday's Germany one. Having the German commentary on in the background has really improved my knowledge of the language while it has also been interesting hearing what the Germans think of the England team without the biases of the English media. Against Scotland, they were typically laboured and it was great seeing the pomposity of the English media and fans shotd down by the stalemate, something eluded to in the German commentary. Meanwhile, the Germans put on a great display against Portugal after losing 1-0 to France earlier in the week, with me assuaging Note's concerns about the quality of the German team. It's a weird tournament this year, what with its multi-location approach and lack of fans due to COVID, and I didn't think I'd get into it much, but I am really starting to get my passion back for it. Still, I would rather be out and about in Berlin on a weekend than watching games, although on a workday evening, I am happy to indulge. Indeed, Note and Covahr are coming here on Tuesday to watch the England game with us and I'm really looking forward to it.
Wolfie was away in the Dortmund area all of last week, meaning the football has provided a welcome distraction from the loneliness. When he first went away for the week back in March, I really enjoyed being alone and able to make my own decisions, but this was the third full week he has been away and I was just bored and really missing him. It was great to watch Wednesday's Italy game with him, again on live stream, while we also got chance to speak with Stray and Minu too.
We didn't go to Stray's online Jackbox event last night, largely because we were on VR. Indeed, Saturday nights are becoming really busy as there are so many places people want us to be. I do feel bad about missing out on Stray, but we have done this nearly every Saturday for the last 15 months, and the introduction of some new people has reduced my enjoyment somewhat. I also wonder what's going to happen when people can meet up in groups again - in the UK this has been pushed back four weeks but there'll come a time when people would rather be out than doing these online games. I do hope they can be retained though, even if it's just one day a month.
I have also spent a fair bit of money this week on Pride commissions and VR characters. Both are related, as this is my first Pride Month where I have been out as genderfluid. I had been sniffing around commissions for much of the month, but no one had replied to me, at least until the start of the week when I got a deluge of responses. I therefore ended up commissioning three. In VR, as well as getting a drone character from Cinnamon Vector, I have also asked Viper to create a skin for a female husky character I have bought, as I really want to use the program to experiment with my gender. I have always thought I am more female than male, perhaps at around a 70% to 30% ratio, but I wonder whether my body dysmorphia is dragging me back to a more masculine mindset. I am trying to lose weight, with this belly the worst sign of my maleness, and I'm hoping a more feminine form in VR will guide me as to whether I am genderfluid or, ultimately, trans. I don't know the answer yet, and indeed despite all of the shit trans people get, I envy those who are clear in who they are, but it's a journey that I feel I must undertake. In Berlin, I certainly feel more comfortable wearing make-up and feminine clothes but again, I need to get rid of the belly before I'll be fully comfortable. That'll be easier said than done of course as I've been trying for years, but I do feel that now is really the time.
Yesterday was the Leeds Meet, but hardly anyone turned up to it, which makes me wonder why I bother too. I grey out the third weekend of the month for the meet and while I accept that the online ones have limited appeal, it would be nice at least if some of the staff bothered to be there - it always seems to be Wolfie and I running the show. The coffee meets have gone by the wayside and while opening up gives greater opportunities for socialising, we aren't quite there yet with the return of large gatherings. I accept though, as seems to be the case yesterday, that others would rather be out in smaller groups than being at an online meet. However, being sat in this sweltering room all day when I would have rather been outside myself was frustrating. Despite this, we did manage to stream a couple of the Euro 2020 football matches, which was enjoyable. It was also great speaking to Kirian some more, as well as the few other people who were there.
We have spent a fair bit of time with Note recently, and he too was at the meet. Indeed, we have been streaming a number of the Euro 2020 games online, including Friday's England game and yesterday's Germany one. Having the German commentary on in the background has really improved my knowledge of the language while it has also been interesting hearing what the Germans think of the England team without the biases of the English media. Against Scotland, they were typically laboured and it was great seeing the pomposity of the English media and fans shotd down by the stalemate, something eluded to in the German commentary. Meanwhile, the Germans put on a great display against Portugal after losing 1-0 to France earlier in the week, with me assuaging Note's concerns about the quality of the German team. It's a weird tournament this year, what with its multi-location approach and lack of fans due to COVID, and I didn't think I'd get into it much, but I am really starting to get my passion back for it. Still, I would rather be out and about in Berlin on a weekend than watching games, although on a workday evening, I am happy to indulge. Indeed, Note and Covahr are coming here on Tuesday to watch the England game with us and I'm really looking forward to it.
Wolfie was away in the Dortmund area all of last week, meaning the football has provided a welcome distraction from the loneliness. When he first went away for the week back in March, I really enjoyed being alone and able to make my own decisions, but this was the third full week he has been away and I was just bored and really missing him. It was great to watch Wednesday's Italy game with him, again on live stream, while we also got chance to speak with Stray and Minu too.
We didn't go to Stray's online Jackbox event last night, largely because we were on VR. Indeed, Saturday nights are becoming really busy as there are so many places people want us to be. I do feel bad about missing out on Stray, but we have done this nearly every Saturday for the last 15 months, and the introduction of some new people has reduced my enjoyment somewhat. I also wonder what's going to happen when people can meet up in groups again - in the UK this has been pushed back four weeks but there'll come a time when people would rather be out than doing these online games. I do hope they can be retained though, even if it's just one day a month.
I have also spent a fair bit of money this week on Pride commissions and VR characters. Both are related, as this is my first Pride Month where I have been out as genderfluid. I had been sniffing around commissions for much of the month, but no one had replied to me, at least until the start of the week when I got a deluge of responses. I therefore ended up commissioning three. In VR, as well as getting a drone character from Cinnamon Vector, I have also asked Viper to create a skin for a female husky character I have bought, as I really want to use the program to experiment with my gender. I have always thought I am more female than male, perhaps at around a 70% to 30% ratio, but I wonder whether my body dysmorphia is dragging me back to a more masculine mindset. I am trying to lose weight, with this belly the worst sign of my maleness, and I'm hoping a more feminine form in VR will guide me as to whether I am genderfluid or, ultimately, trans. I don't know the answer yet, and indeed despite all of the shit trans people get, I envy those who are clear in who they are, but it's a journey that I feel I must undertake. In Berlin, I certainly feel more comfortable wearing make-up and feminine clothes but again, I need to get rid of the belly before I'll be fully comfortable. That'll be easier said than done of course as I've been trying for years, but I do feel that now is really the time.
