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I Did It For The Dopamine
Apr. 8th, 2024 01:04 amIt has been another busy week, which may partly explain why I have spent much of the weekend exhausted. The outdoor temperature creeping up to 24C hasn't helped either and I just hope we can get rid of some of the residual heat in the walls of the flat before the summer, otherwise it's going to be quite unbearable. I don't recall feeling quite this lethargic for so long, so I am hoping that a decent sleep and an easier week next week will go some way towards fixing it.
The Atlanta trip for FWA is largely booked, while my ESTA has also been secured. I have also submitted my UK tax return to my accountant there, which will enable me to submit the German one once I get the confirmation back. Then, hopefully, all of this will be done. I also had an NFC Littles debrief on Thursday which was a lengthy two hours and I am unsure quite what it accomplished. I suppose it was good to digest the feedback from the survey, but the events were so long ago I can't really remember what went right and wrong, while the next con is so far ahead that it made little sense to start planning it. Still, it was good catching up with people I suppose.
Wednesday was the monthly Craft Beer Meet, which coincided with my darkest mental health day of the week. It was quite sparsely attended, with just six of us being there, but small numbers made for easy management and it was a pleasant night all in all. I had booked for 12 people, expecting more than those who had confirmed, but I guess it was just after Easter and people probably had other things on their mind. Moving these from a Tuesday to a Wednesday hasn't been that great though because most bars seem to have their quiz nights then, but the beers at Eschnenbrau were good, the Flammkuchen was well-received and we discovered a Camembert cheese dip called Obatzda which was snaffled very quickly with piping hot pretzels.
Saturday was the Qualgeist Fur Meet and we managed to get down, despite being tired and groggy when we woke up. We had made this a priority, largely because people asked whether we were going and also because it was our anniversary and we hadn't done any bondage for a few months. I had really been missing it and I had forgotten just how invigorating yet simultaneously draining being a submissive is. The meet was highly attended, with over forty people there and a fun vibe, although a few people thought our play was quite extreme. A couple even tapped out, with one apparently coming back to watch later. The event is far more casual, I just hope we didn't go too far, although I do go to a fetish dungeon to play in a fetish dungeon.
The weather was good and the idea was to sit outside at Brewdog. However, our group extended to 12, so those of us wanting food had to stay inside while the others enjoyed the beer garden. I had some passable fish and chips, having watched a Fat Man earlier in the week I had started craving them, while Wolfie had a sloppy burger. As we were finishing, it was announced people were going back to Zuckris's place for a party. Lambda, who was sitting inside with us, wanted to go but the other four around the food table passed for various reasons. I wanted to go, but the two-and-a-half hour round trip put me off and I was still decompressing after the bondage. They left and we headed back home, knowing it was the right decision (although in the end, I did end up staying on VR until 5:30am). I do feel we have started to find a neat little friendship group here, although I sense they do more things together without us than the times we get together. Still, it's nice to feel included and to have people ask after us, so that's a positive at least.
Speaking of Brewdog, this week it was revealed that CEO James Watt attended Nigel Farage's 60th birthday party. Despite being a +1, his justification for going was incredibly weak, and has caused a lot of consternation on the forums. I have been falling out of love with Brewdog for quite some time, ever since the TSG investment days in all honesty, and it's clear that the company is not the same as that in which I invested in 2011. The quality of the beer has done downhill, the treatment of staff has been documented as poor, while they are no longer a living wage employer either. All of the things that attracted me to them have now been eroded away. I will always have a strong appreciation for how they shook up the brewing scene when they started, helping craft beer to become mainstream, but these days there are many better breweries producing much better product. As I have seen in my own professional career, as soon as companies get big, it becomes less about people and more about the bottom line and that's where we are with Brewdog. If Watt went in a personal capacity, I would still struggle with it, but ultimately he is the public face of the business - a business that says it's committed to LGBTQ+ rights and fighting climate change. They have discarded values in the past so it would not surprise me if these get discarded too, and by associating with the very people who have done so much to destroy my country and would remove my rights if they could is actually insulting. I don't feel cheated or conned - I just think the company has changed the more it has grown - but this is probably where I get off. I only really go to Brewdog these days for the furmeets and I can probably change the venue of those pretty easily. It's been a fun 13 years, but it is time to move on (not that Watt would actually care).
Aside from this, things are plodding on. I have had little motivation to write, largely due to a lack of time, while I have done a little reading on the balcony today. My job is very much the same as ever, but with everything else going on this week, I have had little time to do any real job hunting. I am hoping this will change next week, while I am also hoping to get the ConFuzzled trip planned for the end of May. Wolfie's dizziness has improved, but he is still getting hot and cold flushes. He spent much of the afternoon looking for an MRI scan and managed to bag on for this Friday, which is far better than the July he was originally being quoted. Hopefully this will get to the bottom of everything. It would be good to find a root cause of this.
The Atlanta trip for FWA is largely booked, while my ESTA has also been secured. I have also submitted my UK tax return to my accountant there, which will enable me to submit the German one once I get the confirmation back. Then, hopefully, all of this will be done. I also had an NFC Littles debrief on Thursday which was a lengthy two hours and I am unsure quite what it accomplished. I suppose it was good to digest the feedback from the survey, but the events were so long ago I can't really remember what went right and wrong, while the next con is so far ahead that it made little sense to start planning it. Still, it was good catching up with people I suppose.
Wednesday was the monthly Craft Beer Meet, which coincided with my darkest mental health day of the week. It was quite sparsely attended, with just six of us being there, but small numbers made for easy management and it was a pleasant night all in all. I had booked for 12 people, expecting more than those who had confirmed, but I guess it was just after Easter and people probably had other things on their mind. Moving these from a Tuesday to a Wednesday hasn't been that great though because most bars seem to have their quiz nights then, but the beers at Eschnenbrau were good, the Flammkuchen was well-received and we discovered a Camembert cheese dip called Obatzda which was snaffled very quickly with piping hot pretzels.
Saturday was the Qualgeist Fur Meet and we managed to get down, despite being tired and groggy when we woke up. We had made this a priority, largely because people asked whether we were going and also because it was our anniversary and we hadn't done any bondage for a few months. I had really been missing it and I had forgotten just how invigorating yet simultaneously draining being a submissive is. The meet was highly attended, with over forty people there and a fun vibe, although a few people thought our play was quite extreme. A couple even tapped out, with one apparently coming back to watch later. The event is far more casual, I just hope we didn't go too far, although I do go to a fetish dungeon to play in a fetish dungeon.
The weather was good and the idea was to sit outside at Brewdog. However, our group extended to 12, so those of us wanting food had to stay inside while the others enjoyed the beer garden. I had some passable fish and chips, having watched a Fat Man earlier in the week I had started craving them, while Wolfie had a sloppy burger. As we were finishing, it was announced people were going back to Zuckris's place for a party. Lambda, who was sitting inside with us, wanted to go but the other four around the food table passed for various reasons. I wanted to go, but the two-and-a-half hour round trip put me off and I was still decompressing after the bondage. They left and we headed back home, knowing it was the right decision (although in the end, I did end up staying on VR until 5:30am). I do feel we have started to find a neat little friendship group here, although I sense they do more things together without us than the times we get together. Still, it's nice to feel included and to have people ask after us, so that's a positive at least.
Speaking of Brewdog, this week it was revealed that CEO James Watt attended Nigel Farage's 60th birthday party. Despite being a +1, his justification for going was incredibly weak, and has caused a lot of consternation on the forums. I have been falling out of love with Brewdog for quite some time, ever since the TSG investment days in all honesty, and it's clear that the company is not the same as that in which I invested in 2011. The quality of the beer has done downhill, the treatment of staff has been documented as poor, while they are no longer a living wage employer either. All of the things that attracted me to them have now been eroded away. I will always have a strong appreciation for how they shook up the brewing scene when they started, helping craft beer to become mainstream, but these days there are many better breweries producing much better product. As I have seen in my own professional career, as soon as companies get big, it becomes less about people and more about the bottom line and that's where we are with Brewdog. If Watt went in a personal capacity, I would still struggle with it, but ultimately he is the public face of the business - a business that says it's committed to LGBTQ+ rights and fighting climate change. They have discarded values in the past so it would not surprise me if these get discarded too, and by associating with the very people who have done so much to destroy my country and would remove my rights if they could is actually insulting. I don't feel cheated or conned - I just think the company has changed the more it has grown - but this is probably where I get off. I only really go to Brewdog these days for the furmeets and I can probably change the venue of those pretty easily. It's been a fun 13 years, but it is time to move on (not that Watt would actually care).
Aside from this, things are plodding on. I have had little motivation to write, largely due to a lack of time, while I have done a little reading on the balcony today. My job is very much the same as ever, but with everything else going on this week, I have had little time to do any real job hunting. I am hoping this will change next week, while I am also hoping to get the ConFuzzled trip planned for the end of May. Wolfie's dizziness has improved, but he is still getting hot and cold flushes. He spent much of the afternoon looking for an MRI scan and managed to bag on for this Friday, which is far better than the July he was originally being quoted. Hopefully this will get to the bottom of everything. It would be good to find a root cause of this.
