lupestripe | The Royal Wedding (Reply)

My manager has assented to my request to work on the day of the Royal Wedding and I couldn't be more pleased. There is no TV or radio in my new office so I should be able to avoid proceedings completely. Here's hoping anyway.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not a Republican. I would rather have the Queen as head of state than any of the jokers we have elected in recent times. I also believe they provide me 69p of amusement every year to warrant my taxes being spent on them. It's just that this wedding concerns two people I have never met, nor am I ever likely to meet, so why should I care? It simply doesn't affect me.

Furthermore, this is the worst aspect of celebrity culture as this is privileged celebrity which we must pay for. This is the driving force here - the media and the tide of celebrity - and it doesn't make it any more palatable that it is the Royals and not someone like Katy Bloody Price.

However the main issue I have with the Royal Wedding is street parties. If there is two things I hate it's bunting and cheap plastic union flags. Not only do they hark back to a era of Victorian sensibilities in which working class fun was strictly regimented but they also represent everything that is cheap, tacky and disposable about this country. As you know, I have no truck with patriotism as I believe it is strongly linked to xenophobia and nationalism. It is also the last vestige of those who have little pride in anything else they have done. And to be patriotic over this - a day which concerns no one aside from the two people involved and their families - I find almost perverse.

David Cameron was in Harrogate yesterday talking about the Royal Wedding. He was urging people to celebrate all that is good about our nation. Yet this charade seems to be about one of the worst things about this country - class and privilege - which is something Cameron knows a lot about. I also like the fact Theresa May has vowed to reverse the 24-hour drinking culture laws which were introduced in the last Parliament by Labour yet pubs can stay open longer over this weekend to celebrate the nuptials. Seems like double standards to me but let's not make this political.

I think it's telling that many Brits are leaving the country for this weekend whilst many foreigners will be arriving to participate in proceedings. The rest of us assumedly will be sat amongst the potholes that our local councils refuse to mend with people we dont know eating cucumber sandwiches which have cost us the earth due to inflation being high. But don't worry, we can all wave a crappy little plastic flag and sing the national anthem - that will make our problems go away.

Seriously, good luck to Kate and Wills, I hope they are happy together. I am sure they are nice people, it's just the ephemera I can't be dealing with. And sorry for my cynicism.

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