lupestripe | Anger Management

Anger Management

Over the last week or so I have had real difficulty controlling my own frustration. I get stressed too easily and this sometimes manifests itself as a boiling anger deep inside me. Over the last few days, I have probably said and done a few things that in retrospect I regret (nothing so bad as to be unresolvable though) but I am concerned that without a suitable release, these feelings are merely going to build and the situation will get worse.

I appreciate that all I am doing is lashing out against how I feel about myself but does anyone have any ways of controlling these destructive emotions? I go to the gym regularly, which does help, and I am starting to learn another language from tomorrow. I am hoping that by keeping my brain and body active, I won't have the energy to entertain these feelings. I should also meditate more but it is finding the time amidst my ridiculous (on average 55 hours a week, 6 days a week) work schedule.

I know a lot of the time I'm a warm, caring person and it distresses me that sometimes I feel so pent up that I resort to anger and bitterness. This gets me down as I pride myself as being a tolerant and decent person who tries his best to help others irrespective of how I am feeling myself. Perhaps just accepting it and not letting it get me down is a good place to start.

So how do you vent your anger and frustration and how do you stop it preying on your mind?

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Physical activity really helps. If you've got a bike, for instance, just try to jump on that and ride for a while, exhausting yourself and letting it out - it'll really make you feel better. Going to the gym is good, too, of course.

That's really the only thing I know that'll make a real difference.

It definitely works for me - particularly to deal with stress. I do get to go to the gym quite regularly these days but sometimes the only issue is the extra adrenaline makes me more aggressive rather than less. Still, as part of anger management, it does work more often than not.

If you're angry, then work-out is the right thing, too, I think. *hugs* Really exhausting myself on the bike really helps me in situations like that, for instance.

I completely agree - although sometimes I become so tired that I can't think straight and then I panic unduly. Lols, I guess I am trying to pick holes in things - exercise is definitely one of things that works - provided I can pump myself up and then exhaust myself out afterwards. If I remain in the pumped up state, it gets worse.

*noddles* Just make sure to exercise often enough. :) *hugs*

I shout. Lots. Ask Avon.

(Ok, you didn't ask for any good anger management techniques!)

Primal Scream therapy is a curious one, I believe a John Lennon once did that and a good album emerged from it all.

A person once said to scream into your pillow until you couldn't shout no more, that was another interesting one to be told about.

Fortunately I haven't really gotten truly angry, I've usually just gotten annoyed with someone and would talk it out with any flatmate who agreed on the matter. Energetic music is sometimes good just to shout sing along, especially if the lyrics agree with the sentiments of your anger.

Yep, I often throw myself around my room whilst listening to loud music and playing air guitar. Problem is, I live in a shared house so that's more difficult now than it has been in the past.

Could work - I do sometimes go crazy. Keeping it quiet is the main problem in the house though as others would hear me and get concerned.

The last time I vented, I was at work. I then ended up with a £170 pound repair bill, my final warning and very sore nuckles. Whilst the shouting helped, the kicking the snack machine and punching the walls... wasnt the best way.

Thats pretty much how I tend to vent (But now its just shouting awhole lot followed with 2 cups of strong coffee) As for how I stop it, I dont. Well, I cant to be frank.

I used to do that too but I didn't want to get a petty vandalism charge or an ASBO for being unable to control my rage. My fear is that I can't stop it either and that it builds and builds until it causes more and more problems.

My lifesavers are a good piece of music, good film/documentary to watch or a get into a book from time to time.

I have often been known to throw myself around the room listening to loud rock music and playing air guitar. That usually works but now I live in a shared building, I have to respect other residents.

I find that sometimes talking to someone about what has me stressed out/angered/frothing at the maw does help, this does of course require that the persons around you *aren't* the ones your trying to feed their words in raw printer-paper format.

The other ways I deal with it are to distract myself, but I find that they don't actually *solve* the problem and thus cause them to come back with vengeance at a later time.

So my advice is simple, if you can deal with the issue do so after thinking about it for a while, if not hold back and deal with it slowly.

That's the fear I have with distraction too - not confronting your problems sometimes is worse than dealing with them in a negative way - and something I have been prone too in the past. And then it comes and bites you in the ass in a big way - not good.

Regarding talking - it's a good idea and one I often employ but you can only really do it so much. I sometimes fear that I am burdening people and that makes me feel worse in the long term.

Regarding talking - it's a good idea and one I often employ but you can only really do it so much. I sometimes fear that I am burdening people and that makes me feel worse in the long term.

I believe any true friend would tell you if they could not help you at the time you talk to them, so try not to worry so much about that wuff.

I guess you're right - I've just done it a hell of a lot in my life. I suppose, conversely, I have always been there for my friends too so perhaps I shouldn't worry about things. After all, one of the major things about friendship is being there to help people through the shit that life can sometimes throw at you.

Two hours of exercise a day, and meditation. Sorry if you were expecting a more complicated answer, but there's not much to it really.

I really should mediate more, just can't find the time these days.

A nice, violent, gory video game does wonders for working out frustration.

I recommend Assassin's Creed.

Apart from gaming, I tend to channel my rage into extensive rants.

Also, have you tried using a mantra? Just repeat something pleasant over and over again in your head.

I have a mantra as part of the meditation I used to do. I really need to find more time to do that.

I'm not a gamer but am starting to consider getting involved - one of the reasons being that I may find it a good way to relax (provided my competitive side doesn't come to the fore).

How do I vent? Well, I usually write and angry rant about whatever's bugging me. This is kind of like yelling and screaming without actually doing so.

Sometimes I publish these in my journal if I feel there is anything to benefit anyone else in them, or if I feel a need for others to know what state of mind I'm in. But most often I don't publish them. Usually just hashing it out in text is enough of a release.

How do I keep things from preying on my mind? Only one thing helps here. Distraction. I must force my mind to give constant attention to other things. Creative projects, reading, watching movies, listening to engrossing music, whatever you've got to keep your mind from being idol until the obsession passes.

No matter what your mind is obsessing over, there is always something more important to you, something more attractive and emotionally settling you can apply your mind to. And every moment you keep yourself from thinking about what's making you angry, your mind is healing.

The problem I have with distraction is that you can only do that for so much before the fundamental, underlying issue bites you on the ass, albeit in another form. Is it good to ignore your problems? I am not sure, as keeping yourself busy means you never relax and you could exasperate the situation. I tried doing this before and sometimes it worked, other times it didn't.

I used to write a lot of poetry and stuff, typical teen angst etc, but rarely find the time now. I am working on a story but haven't had time to put into that really either, which is frustrating as I would really like to.

If it's a person who'se causing it I dismiss them as an A-hole and the sense of superiority cures the anger. If that fails I imagine bad things happening to them. Otherwise, I boot up Command And Conquer and blow stuff up.

Chill-out music also helps.

I'm liking Fen-ra's idea! He's got the right stuff, I've usually brushed anything off cus of confident belief of superiority and that I'll crush them when I become Prime Minster of the Universe. Minor issue though is that as a result I kinda suffer an arrogant superiority complex. ._.;

It's just the little things in life that piss me off though - the big things I can deal with. If someone was being an ass then I can deal with that but y'know, it's all life's little pressures that needle me.

When I was going through an unemployment related crisis: I used to headbutt walls...that was until my mum threatened to section me.

Now I grind chinese worry balls.

As a kid, I used to do that. This is why I think I have a few issues regarding my psychology. It's also why the front part of my skull hasn't fused together correctly. In my teen years I did this but I was so paranoid about brain damage that it caused more problems than it solved :(

fuckin' shoot people over the internet, s'what I do to calm down

you wanna just dump an extra day's load of casework on me oh cool BLAAAOH BLAAOHH BLAAAOOOOH TRICK

I could do that but I am also paranoid about what people think of me. I don't like being an ass for being an ass's sake and it would only make me more worried about people's perceptions of me and worse in how I feel about myself.

I just bottle it all up and never let it bother anyone, as I was taught to do by furries because furries prefer it that way (oh noes, anyone who says anything is being no fun and emoz how darez they lulzwtfbbq). Yes, this is probably why I sometimes seem quite bitter. =;)

If I did that, it would just explode in a mental mess - like an incident at Kings Cross station back in 2004.

As we can see from above, everyone tends to have a different way of dealing with stuff. What I'd do is give some of these things a try, and if they don't help after a few times, then try something else, and keep doing that until you've worked out a combination that works for you.

I find curling up in someone's lap and taking some time out works for me, gives me time to work things out clearly in my mind and work out why I'm annoyed, and there's someone right there to talk to when ever I need to. :)

The curling in other people's lap thing definitely works, particularly when it is Wolfie's lap. He does have a way of calming me down and making me feel relaxed.

As you say, I probably have to give these a try and see what happens. I know vigorous exercise does work for me but a lot of the time I am constrained with time constraints :(

I tend to keep old broken appliances in my shed, like old microwaves or an old tv from work. I'm terrible with anger management and when I see red I need to bray the fuck out of something with a sledge hammer till I feel better. Admittedly it does get worried curtain twitching from the neighbours, but it does work.

That's a good idea but difficult from a pantheist's point of view. Still, it could work - may have to try it :)

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