Am I too honest?

[lupestripe]

I fear that I am.

Comments

[bloodwolves.livejournal.com]

I fear that i'm EVIL!

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Really? What makes you think you are evil? And why do you fear it?

[shep-shepherd.livejournal.com]

I fear that I'm set up to FAIL.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I think that's a common fear - I get that one all the time too. Often it's far removed from reality but then fears are never rational and attached to the real state - or at least they are rarely.

[snowfields.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's such a thing as too honest. Honesty and tact are virtues that are often confused and there's something to be said for knowing when to sugar the pill a little (and when not to, of course).

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I guess you are right there but at the moment I am finding that I am speaking my mind (and being blunt at the same time) perhaps a little too much. I guess I fear that having a differing opinion will make me less popular or something - I'm not a big fan of confrontation but then I also believe that it is important to be honest. I guess this conflict of my own is what tears me up a lot.

[klepsydra.livejournal.com]

If so, better than than not honest enough!

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

It depends - as snowfields says, tact is important too. If you are honest all the time, you will probably be quite unpopular.

[metamorphosys.livejournal.com]

This is Ian incase you were wondering.

Why do you think you are too honest?

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I fear that by being honest (and perhaps too blunt - which may be the real crux here), people will dislike me or think I am intolerant. Deep down, I know I am not but at the same time, I am one of these people who can see situations from a multitude of angles and this confuses me. I guess by expressing a view - no matter how strongly held - I don't want to seem intolerant to the other side of the coin, which I can also often see.

[gothicat.livejournal.com]

Makes two of us sweet heart

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

It's a pain isn't it? It's like a constant battle at times - I want to be me and express myself yet at the same time I don't want to be judged.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I am honest - always have been. Sometimes I try and not talk about controversial subjects (politics, religion etc) because of a fear of being judged but in most day-to-day scenarios, what you see is what you get with me.

[tr-wolf.livejournal.com]

No such thing. All you can be is yourself.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

But when you don't know who you are, how can you be yourself?

[silent-o.livejournal.com]

This above all — to thine ownself be true;
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
-Polonius

-Hamlet, Act I, Scene III

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

'Tis very true but when you have problems working out who you really are, it makes it a greater challenge.

I don't hide who I am but sometimes I have to bite my tongue for fear of offending or causing an argument *sigh* I don't know, guess I am just confused.

[silent-o.livejournal.com]

You can never be too honest. Don't worry so much about how others perceive you.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

That's easier said than done though. I try not to be paranoid and accept who I am but if you can't accept who you are, then how can others? Perception is weird - everyone has a different way of perceiving the world and no-one's is more or less valid so god knows why I am worried about this as even on a epistemological level, it's nonsense.

[fen-ra.livejournal.com]

Better than having every word coming out of your mouth being a lie.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

That's very true but life is often about a balance and sometimes you need to bend the truth to preserve people's feelings. Sometimes I fear I am not tactful enough or good enough to do that.

[enteirah]

I normally avoid these one-liners as you well know, but I'll make an exception just this once. =;) You're in a community whose heart is based upon being sycophantic and ostracising those who dare not kiss the elite, and yet you still manage to get by quite well. If anything, maybe you should be asking yourself 'Am I not honest enough?'...

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Potentially - I love the way you have of inverting questions - it does make me think about other angles and potentialities.

I guess the Fandom is a mix of people and it's not fair to describe its heart was being based on the sycophantic or the ostrascising. I accept that for some, it is, but there are a lot of good people in the Fandom too. Perhaps I should just accept that my friends seem to like me for who I am and the others (the sycophants and the ostrascisers), well, I'm not too fussed about what they think anyway.

[enteirah]

I think we both know you are very concerned on what people think though, as indeed you even say it further up the page. =:P If it isn't those people you're fussed about, and you're happy with your friends, then you're fearing having a differing opinion making you unpopular with whom?

I think my biggest problem is that I ask all the awkward questions! =:P

At the end of the day, whatever you do or think you cant make everyone happy and people will get annoyed. That's sadly just one of those things that has to be accepted in life though. =:P

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I have this constant fear that people will discover the true me and then disown me. It's a fear I have had since I was six. My psychology is such that I don't feel I deserve all the wonderful friends and the constructive life that I have got and sometimes my mind plots to throw it all away. Or at least that's what it feels like.

As you intonate, there shouldn't be a problem with disagreeing with people but sometimes I take it too personally. I agree with your final statement though and I know I shouldn't worry about things as it's a largely superfluous question but rationality and emotion are never happy bedfellows.

[salith.livejournal.com]

Is this a bad thing?

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

It depends what people respect I guess. Some people like to know where you stand with them, others are happier not knowing. I suppose this question was a bit stupid really as everyone's perception is different and therefore everyone's view will be too.

[hyperx.livejournal.com]

I fear I am too naive and easy to use.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I fear that too to be honest - I don't know if I am strong or weak. It's another annoying juxtaposition I have in my head.

[silent-o.livejournal.com]

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Call it a gut feeling.

My gut is seldom wrong.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't feel it hun - I feel as if I am always on a knife edge.