Red Wine And Sleeping Pills

Today would have been Leeds Pride, with the weather being absolutely perfect for it. Alas, like many other things this year, it has been cancelled. We were going to be front and centre of the parade this year, even featuring on the advertising for the event, so it's a particularly bitter blow. Furthermore, all it does is highlight the grimmness of our current situation. Basically, 2020 is pretty much a write-off and while I understand the Government's attempts to foster an element of positivity by suggesting x, y and z will return soon, ultimately, all of the lockdowns being reinstated after previous easings suggests we should all forget about doing much for the rest of the year. Of course, this has huge psychological consequences and I too am affected. Indeed, last Tuesday was one of the darkest days of my life. There was no specific trigger, indeed not much happened at all, yet the combination of losing my job, worrying about Brexit, family health concerns and being cooped up in West Yorkshire since mid-March all finally got to me. I even cried, something that I very rarely do. I'm usually good at bottling it up.

The recent Twitter conversations are not helping either. I understand the importance of the Black Lives Matter movement and the need to rid the Fandom from the more unsavoury characters, but I also use social media as my escape, my enjoyment, and there has been precious little of that recently. The attacks on 'centrists' and the 'right' also concern me as I would comfortably describe myself as centrist myself, if tacking slightly left-wing. I am certainly further to the right politically than many furs, although I would never vote for the current incarnation of the Tories, but I do wonder when all of this is going to stop. I know a number of people who are of the right and they are perfectly decent people, just people I happen to disagree with. I can certainly see the arguments for economic conservatism, but for me they don't outweigh the true dreadfulness of right-wing social policy. Still, for others, the trade-off is different. Maybe that's just the woolly centrist speaking, but I am aware that politics is hard and avoids compromise. Being too idelogical ultimately doesn't get you power and thus doesn't get you anywhere. It's a hard lesson to learn, but it must be learned.

None of this is aided by another type of people - those who believe we should be flagellating ourselves as much as possible by imposing the strictest type of lockdown imaginable. They point to the reopening of pubs as a reason for the recent uptick, citing previous examples of VE Day and Bournemouth Beach, which didn't present any upsurge in COVID cases at all. It's as if some people are desperate for a second wave, just to be proven right. I accept the Government's handling of this has been poor, with their communication being particularly cack-handed, and I don't trust them either. However, there is a balance between protecting lives and protecting the economy because the two are intertwined. I've just lost my job and the longer lockdown persists, more are likely to join me. Consequently, gradual reopening does make sense, provided strict guidelines are met. Everyone seems quick to point out the exceptions breaking the rules, but in Leeds on Friday night, it resembled a Tuesday and everyone was being very vigilent. It's largely the same in Pudsey too. And with autumn fast approaching and another lockdown being very real, for the sake of people's mental health, I think they should at least try and have some taste of normality. The thing that brought this into focus most clearly was those people ridiculing holidaymakers in Spain for going away during the pandemic. However, the Government said it was safe (and only announced new quarantine measures with six hours notice), insurers would almost certainly prohibit people from cancelling based on this while I am sure many people had booked holidays in January before COVID was even a thing. If you are told it's safe and that you either go on holiday or look at the ticket wistfully with no recourse to a refund, and if you've been cooped up in the house since March, maybe with a family, then of course you'd go away. I know I certainly would. But this snobbishness from people who are happy to be alone, or who don't understand the mental pressures of all this for so many of us, isn't helping. Indeed it looks quite callous.

Our usual Discord meets are generally good, particularly when no-one is suffering too much from the lockdown. There have been weeks when certain people have been very angry or argumentative, but in the main we have a very good group. Last night was definitely one of the better evenings, with six hours spent first on Jackbox and then doing Stray's Mum's quiz. The general meme was the attractiveness of Foxy Bingo. We ended the evening just chatting, catching up yet frustrated that due to the local lockdowns, we cannot see each other for the indefinite future. The drone of all this is starting to drag, but at least I have our Leicestershire trip to look forward to, which I am hoping will go ahead. We also managed to get another beer from Nomadic, a wee heavy called Ivor, having skipped one week as we had drunk everything they could offer.

Aside from this, it has been a pretty typical weekend thus far, although yesterday was perhaps busier than usual due to my being out on Friday. Today is looking like another disappointing day weather-wise, but at least it's sunny, so I may go outside if the bitingly cold wind has abated. The wind this summer has been the worst and had it not been there, a good number of days would have been significantly better. We have Pony Chat at 4pm and our usual late-night music stream tonight, but Wolfie's now working 4.5 days a week so needs to be up for work in the morning. Still, I am hoping for a chilled day today ahead of what will be a busy week from tomorrow.