It's a gym thing...
Feb. 5th, 2008 04:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lupestripeIn an attempt to finally lose the belly that has dogged me (and not dogged in a good sense) for the last nineteen years, last week I joined a gym. Well tonight is my first session and I must admit I am bricking it.
I am not precisely sure why but I guess I have always felt intimidated around fit people. This, I think, is because I was a child of the Eighties where muscles and machismo went hand in hand. Equally I think there is a large portion of my inferiority complex playing its hand here and it may possibly be that such images of the Eighties actually sewed the seeds of it.
I know this is an irrational fear and one that is completely unfounded but often our fears defy all rationality. Added to this is that the world today is very different from the one twenty years ago - being gay I should be more aware of this than most people.
Still, I want to lose weight and get stronger (particularly in my upper body) and you don't move forward in life unless you tackle your fears head on. So although I'm scared I'm also anticipating it slightly too. I have less than four hours to go...
I am not precisely sure why but I guess I have always felt intimidated around fit people. This, I think, is because I was a child of the Eighties where muscles and machismo went hand in hand. Equally I think there is a large portion of my inferiority complex playing its hand here and it may possibly be that such images of the Eighties actually sewed the seeds of it.
I know this is an irrational fear and one that is completely unfounded but often our fears defy all rationality. Added to this is that the world today is very different from the one twenty years ago - being gay I should be more aware of this than most people.
Still, I want to lose weight and get stronger (particularly in my upper body) and you don't move forward in life unless you tackle your fears head on. So although I'm scared I'm also anticipating it slightly too. I have less than four hours to go...
