lupestripe | Red, Blue and White

RBW - 1st AND 2nd DECEMBER

Agent 193 reporting for duty!

The following account is brought to you in association with Kirin Beer and mountains of Pro-Plus. Before I start may I take the opportunity to apologise if I forget any of you in this account - put it down to a combination of intense alcoholism and chronic sleep deprevation. Was it worth it? Oh yes indeedy...

I feel that this weekend I came of age in the fandom. In less than a fortnight I will have been an active fur for a year and it's scary to think that it's been this long already. In that time I have developed in the ways I had always wished but such changes often affect the emotions. The community has always been kind and supportive to me but at times I have felt as if I was an outsider, as if I didn't fit in. This weekend dispelled those unfounded neuroses somewhat.

Patterday

It's not easy lugging a fursuit across London. The tube isn't particularly fursuit friendly and this is something I will be campaiging Ken Livingstone for in the near future. To be honest I was surprised I didn't have to buy an Oyster card for the husky but thankfully they let me through. Still, getting from Stratford to Calico was difficult enough in itself - and it was only a journey of some 20 minutes.

I always get a pre-meet trepedation, like a slurry of fox sick in the belly. But seeing graafen and Shep waiting in the doorway reassured me that I was definitely amongst friends. As I dragged my fursuit box up the stairs, destroying the strategically placed barrier and the less strategically placed sofas, I couldn't help but feel like the most helpless of drunks entering Cinderella's private ball. All I was missing was the glass footpaw.

After checking in, depositing our possessions, buying a drink, having a coronary over the price, then thinking fuck it and buying a few more, Wolfie and I decided to mingle. It was great catching up with the furs again, particularly the London ones, who I regrettably cannot see as often as I would like.

It was during the opening hour that unclekage made himself known to us, slinking up to us with a mischevious grin on his face. In his paws there contained a sign saying "Will make you laugh for £1". It turned out that he hadn't realised that Britain is not in the Euro and had purchased the wrong currency. His smile was enough to send two of us off into hysterics but he had to try a little harder with me. I think I got to the third word in his opening gambit. By the by I gave him £5, on the provision that he would buy me a glass of wine later on in the con. I never did see it.

It was at this time that I did the one thing I truly regret at the con. I brought back VORDERMAN. You see the first time I met Kage was back at EF in September. Unfortunately it was at 2am on the last night of the con when I was very very drunk. The only word I had uttered to him back then was "VORDERMAN". So I decided that a bit of resurrection was in order. Sadly he remembered and in the middle of the pub the six or so of us shouted "VORDERMAN" and did the arm gesture thing. It was echoed elsewhere.

The look that kennofox gave me when I told him was one I imagine a psychopath would give when locked on his pray. He then started to bang his head repeatedly against the table. Pinky's reaction was similar. They had wanted to bury it but it had come back to haunt them. For this, my friends, I apologise.

By this time there were fursuiters abound but as is so often the way with me, I was too interested in mingling than suiting. I must admit I still have a few confidence issues suiting in front of fellow furs and it was for these reasons that I didn't partake in the fursuit Commonwealth games. From what little I glimpsed of them they looked fun but alas I was too absorbed talking to long lost furs upstairs. The other problem was the severe lack of changing space. The fursuit room was small to say the least and my fursuit box was too big to make changing in the toilet a realistic option. I did help a few suiters suit in the bathrooms but short of exposing my hideously flabby belly to all and sundry, fursuiting was made a little difficult by the venue itself.

Condoms came next although I wasn't particularly yiffy at this stage. Still I could not not buy one after spying the gorgeous artwork on the front and hey, I'm sure it is going to come in useful sometime hehe. I also got another conbadge made up - another doodle sketch but one fantastically effective.

The highlights of the mingling was the continual torture of spargue - "YOU HAVE A WOMAN'S COAT MY LORD" - and speaking to shep_shepherd who I had initially met at EF. It was great catching up with him again and, like his friendship at EF had been a particular delight, he really made RBW for me. So thanks hun *hugs*. I also ate a hell of a lot of the free complimentary confectionary provided by the kind people of ConFuzzled. I told Furble about this later on in one of our chats at the con - it was great speaking to him properly for the first time. I also got to meet foxconvoy, which was a pleasure.

The Boat Trip followed and this was probably the highlight of the con. Indeed it was one of the highlights of my life as, by 11pm, I had the sudden realisation of how deliciously absurd what I was doing was. I think it was at the time we chugged past my ex's penthouse flat at Vauxhall on the banks of the Thames. To be stood in a six foot husky suit, at a boat party in the middle of the Thames was one of those surreal moments that I will never ever forget. The laughter that ensued in my mind was delightful and the howling under Tower Bridge topped it off. I had cracked. I had died and gone to heaven. I was knackered and dripping in sweat.

Getting on to the boat proved to be a greater issue than we all would have imagined, largely because the boat turned up at the wrong pier. I think it was in Amsterdam or something although I'm not too sure. I kept myself amused by calling Pinky any name under the Sun that rhymed with Pinky before trying to dodge his slaps. He still got me with his overlong tail though grrr. I also talked to Shaman in the queue too, as well as londonwolf. He has been on my LJ for sometime and it seemed like we shared a lot of similar viewpoints on the world. It was great to finally meet up with him, albeit briefly.

After a gruellingly cold wait, during which we all hugged Kinky and I nearly fell in the river we headed into the boat and dumped all our luggage on one side. A slightly bigger luggage depositing facility would have been helpful but apart from that the boat itself was of perfect size for the 200 of us. The boat may have been 20 minutes late but that wasn't going to stop the party!

The buffet was complimentary (it even told me it liked my hair) and I can't compliment it highly enough. There was plenty of it and a considerable vegetarian choice. In fact it was the most extensive choice for vegetarians I had seen in some time so compliaments should go out to the catering staff. During this time I met akhil, a fur who I had never met before. He was a very interesting guy and I couldn't help but admire his falcon fursuit. It was something I had never really seen before and it was good to finally meet a bird. We spent a fair bit of time chatting over the salubrious plastic plates.

The events after this are a blur of ecstacy. I remember teaching Kage how to use a toilet because he got confused between the soap dispenser and the hand dryer. I also remember discussing wine with him and we both agreed that the red was like toilet water but the rose had a refreshing bouquet. We were also to meet again when, later on, he knighted me whilst I was in my fursuit with noah_cub's glowy wand thing. I think he sucked on it too. The innuendos ensued.

Did I mention fursuit?! It was during the start of the 2 "The Ranting" Griffin show that I decided to don the suit. I largely did this so I wouldn't contravene public decency laws by showing my hideous belly but this meant I had to walk up the stairs of the boat in full fursuit in the middle of a comedian's performance. I admit I had fears that he would take the piss out of me but thankfully not and as I stood watching the show, memories of EF came flooding back. As did the wine which I was drinking more and more copiously.

2's stand-up was good although some of it was material he had used at EF. The sign of a good comedian however is not how well the jokes go down the first time but how well they stand up to a repeat performance and 2's set certainly passed here. He was once more hilarious and I loved every minute of his set. In fact we loved it so much we decided to show our appreciation by buying him tequilas. And when he said he wanted no more tequila we gave him sambuca instead. We also decided to buy Kage some rose wine as we knew he was a fan. I don't know quite what gave us that idea...

The dance followed and this was a massive highlight for me. The problem at EF had been the lack of rock and metal music in the sets of the DJs. This was not to be a problem here. The mix between cheese, rock and dance was almost perfect and fursuiters and non-suiters alike had a great time. I must admit I was somewhat of a slut on the dancefloor, perhaps being a little too cheeky with my suggestive act. But hey, fursuiting gives me confidence - what more could I say?

If it's possible to orgasm in a non-sexual way then my time came towards the end of the set. Rammstein are one of my favourite bands and my deepest thanks go out to Mat'Ra as Feuer Frei blasted over the speakers. Some hard core moshing ensued (which probably damaged the tongue of my fursuit slightly - don't worry, it's easily fixed) which was undoubtedly one of the highlights of my life. I have many more cherished moments from that dance - the fursuit guitar soloing to Guns and Roses' Sweet Child of Mine - using glowsticks as axes was one of the high points of the dance as was dancing with girl Pinky to a plethora of cheese. For a start I haven't been able to get the Time Warp out of my head since...

The only shame was the heat in the fursuit but the open deck at the back gave a nice cool breeze that filtered through the suit nicely. Another negative was the lack of straws for suiters - this made hydration difficult and is something to bear in mind for next year. It was at this hanging around the back time that I received a Christmas card from Jocastajackal written to "the best pink-haired wolf". It was really sweet of her to think of me, particularly as she also wished me a happy RBW too. I hope she had fun as well *hugs*. Plus the card has a cute ickle penguin on the front and is all glittery. Wheee!

The night ended somewhat abruptly at 11:20pm. I think this is the biggest complaint of the weekend as some believed we were persecuted for the boat being 20 minutes late. The boat party was meant to be 6 hours and not 5 but nothing can be taken away from what was an amazing 5 hours. This meant I didn't really have time for a fursuit photo but alas you can never do everything that cons. I learnt that at EF hehe.

I couldn't be bothered changing out of suit so I resolved to walk back to the hostel in it. This gave the passing cars and passers-by something to pip their horns or point and laugh at and I gave out many a hug and a wave on my way back. It also allowed me to freeze to death as the moist inside of the suit was whipped against my skin by the wind.

The best moment came outside a pub when I clearly caused some concern to people who looked at me as if they had had one too many to drink. The sight of a bright pink haired husky in their midst made them check their pints in that cliched way you see in certain comedy shows, checking for secret shots of absinthe or something. There was also one poor guy on the phone who looked up at me, jumped and said "mate I'm standing in front of a six foot husky". His friend didn't believe him and so he had to be passed over to Wolfie for him to corroborate.

I was a hit in the pub however but I didn't want to keep the guys waiting so I headed back to the hostel so we could all go to bed. That is if I could get into the bed. A previous occupant had done that famous sheet folding practical joke that you can do making it impossible for me to climb into bed. In the end I had to get Wolfie to sort it and tuck me in - and so ensued a whole raft of jokes from Kenno, Redmoor and Fenrir about babyfurs and needing to be tucked in *rolls eyes*.

Sunday

It dawned cold and bright in our Youth Hostel. Wolfie spent half an hour doing his hair and I sat around in my boxers. It truly was glamorous. The breakfast was average - cold beans, toast and butter - but it was free so can't moan I suppose. Plus the serving wenches seemed friendly enough.

By the time 11 o'clock rolled around we decided we had better make it back to the venue, which we did. And it was then I started drinking. Again. I have no time for these amateurs *tisk*. We sat with Shiinsuh, Foxxtail, Kenno and others and generally just hit each other with our tails. It was like a big furry pillow fight but, erm, without the pillows. Great fun!

The highlight of the day was to come early on in my conversation with Fatkraken. I was showing my fursuit to someone and she came over to have a look too. I was honoured when she said that she liked the suit, particularly with the pink additions I had done to it. She also spent some time admiring my fursuit box, liking my modus operandi for fursuit transportation.

The Fursuiting 101 seminar followed and I learnt a few good tips from Fatkraken. I was also proud that I got the opportunity to relate a couple of my own fursuiting experiences to the group. It may not have been much but to contribute to proceedings, even if it was in such a small way, gave me a great buzz in a community to which I owe so much.

We decided to break all etiquette after this by grabbing a Domino's Pizza and taking it back to the bar with us. I know that this isn't really the done thing but others were doing it too and it seemed okay with the staff. We had been meaning to go on the Treasure Hunt but I decided against at the last minute, largely because of the unpredictable and inclement weather. Typically, it didn't really rain for the subsequent two hours. Grrr! Still I had fun talking to Shiinsuh and Foxxtail - it's always good catching up with them and they do make a sweet couple :-)

I had had such a good time at this point that I decided to sign up there and then for RBW 2008. Being tenth in the queue is again another honour and next year's con looks more exciting and better than ever! The prices also look excellent and it also appears to be residential meaning that next year there will be two major furcons in the UK. This is exactly what this country needs in my opinion.

The highlight of the con came next - sitting with Shep on the bar downstairs, quaffing rose wine (Kage would be proud) and watching a scintilating Kage performance. His life has been so interesting and his stories are legendary. And rightly so - you can easily lose track of time as you sit there listening to his tales (or should that be tails) and the way he injects proceedings with streaks of humour makes him a natural born performer.

The charity auction came next where, thankfully, no full fursuits were being sold. Because I would have undoubtedly bid crazy amounts for them (hey I am after one y'know...). Fenrir shocked the hell out of me mind by buying a beautiful panther partial, it was a bid that came so from left field. Still I'm glad he got it as it is one fine suit. He also let me wear it and it does fit very nicely. I hope he has great fun with it - it's just a shame that I probably won't be able to see his first fursuit performance in Manchester this weekend. Ah well, perhaps with the United Kritters sometime in the future...

There was also the obligatory porn that was so tempting to bid on, as were the latex masks. This was particularly true of the one with VORDERMAN emblazened across the top of it, which led to the enthusiastic reaction of Kage once more and the cold as ice stares directed at me from Pinky and Kenno.

I was also asked by foxconvoy to translate his name into German, after 2 was told I could speak it. The latter showed me a bottle of Tiger wine, which was one of the auction items, wanting a translation. I semi-obliged (as I'm not that fluent in German). I also got on to the phone to my friend in Stuttgart to find out what convoy was in German - it's not a word they really teach you in schools. As it turns out, it's Konvoi. So all a waste of time really...

Proceedings were brought to a close after this although the last conversation I had in the venue was one with Kage that probably resembled two drunk wine buffs who were just about to give up. We both concluded that the bouquet of the rose was once again fine before we headed our separate ways.

I had been planning to meet my friend in Herne Hill, South London that evening but because the con over-ran I decided against it. I met him at lunchtime the following day in the charming delights of Barbican.

A handful of us decided to head to a local Pizza Express for some food, which was pleasant enough. I must admit that the drink combined with a few personal problems got the better of me here and I did have half an hour of teariness, for which I apologise to all those who were there. Sometimes things do overtake me every now and again.

After the pizza we decided to go for a walk along the Thames in the biting cold December wind. I liked this as it sobered me up somewhat and soon I was feeling cheery again. We headed to the only pub that was open in miles and had a nice pint whilst discussing our furry hopes and dreams for 2008. After this we bid Shep farewell and headed back to the Hostel for some more jokes about how I can't get into bed.

At this stage may I express my thanks to Redmoor for organising our hostel - it was great fun staying with you all despite you ganging up on a poor little lupe and Kenno's legendary snoring. Just kidding - I had a blast :-)

My thanks go out to all those who arranged RBW, particularly to Rapido and Foxb, the two chairmen. The efforts of all the staff were commendable and they contributed massively to what was a fantastic weekend. Yes there were issues (as other furs have pointed out) but I am sure that these will be addressed next year and RBW2008 will be even stronger and furrier (is that even a word?) than this one.

And now I leave you with this one romantic thought: on Monday evening, as I sat on the train home staring whistfully into space with the excellent conbook clasped between my paws, a smile broke out upon my face as I remembered all the events I have detailed above. I will definitely be back next year :-)

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: The Lair
Current Music: Megaherz - Blender