To Forgotten Friends

[lupestripe]

In the world of social networking, the word 'friend' is often overused. Words like followers or acquaintances often seem more apt although I prefer to think of social networking as a means of keeping in touch with old friends and making new ones. I guess everyone's relationship with such sites varies dependent on their own personal motivations though.

In recent years, many of my friends have drifted away, largely from LJ to Twitter. The world of social networking appears to be a harsh one as if you are not where your peers are, you can quickly become isolated.

As you are no doubt aware, I am on Twitter. Not grudgingly either - I quite like it. Yet there is a further point to be made - how we use social networks. I imagine Twitter works for many people because it's concise and the conversations are almost instantaneous. I imagine these reasons, more than most, are behind the diaspora away from LJ and towards micro blogging (ignoring the Russian situation of course). However I do not have the time to indulge in such conversations - by day I am at work and by night I often need to do other things. Furthermore, I spend my working day sat in front of a computer on IMs and so coming home to something similar often feels like more work.

This means I struggle to engage with former friends who have abandoned traditional blogging for new social networks. Blogging works for me because I can pick it up and put it down as and when I like. Twitter, meanwhile, is far more impatient and I simply do not have the time or energy to devote to it. Sadly this is where everyone appears to be so again this results in a feeling of isolation.

Of course some would question whether people are true friends if social networking is your only contact with them. They may also question why people didn't try and be friends through other means. This is a fair point but with the concerns regarding Google + being aired today, it is clear that this shift from one forum to another is a concern not confined to myself. Added to this the increasing localization of furry groups and it is clear many people have simply drifted away.

Of course I would love to speak to some old friends but the feeling is that I have been forgotten. Furthermore, I get a sense that they are not too bothered speaking anyway. Thankfully I have some excellent friends in my own locality - as well as around the world - and I feel very fortunate. But I would still like to be closer to some who have sadly slipped away.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Comments

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I have started to feel similarly to you over the last 12 months or so. Since moving to Leeds, I have a stronger social life with a handful of very good friends. I can indulge in some other interests - particularly fetish and BDSM - with people too and so the need for social networks has reduced. I only ever used them as a facilitator to meet people in real life and so their need has been reduced due to my circumstances.

[shep-shepherd.livejournal.com]

I look forward to seeing more of my friends back on LJ, what with the Google+ debacle and all ;)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I hope LJ takes off again, I would love it to be back in the position it was in about three years ago.

[stuart-otterson.livejournal.com]

Keep dreaming. :p

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

It's a real shame, it really is.

[gepardipoju.livejournal.com]

I've been considering coming back to LJ for a while, even moreso since the whole Google+ saga. But last time I blogged on here I suffered a fair amount of contempt for what I wrote about (I admit I mostly used it as a vent) and people ended up disliking me for it. It made me shy away from here pretty much.

On top of that, I rarely ever have anything to say that can't be said via Twitter. Though if I thought that folk would read what I typed, I could be persuaded to return :)

[shep-shepherd.livejournal.com]

You could write about crinklywag things :)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I would do that too but I fear it would lead to the sort of experience described above.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't worry too much about what other people think, provided you have written your points in a diplomatic way. If they become arsey, do what I do and just ban them. It's better not letting these people get you down.

[graystonethusky.livejournal.com]

Facebook and Google+ forcing users to use their real names will cause some people to come back to LJ. So hopefully there will be a increase in posting/traffic on the site again.
Twitter is good for a quick update, but not the whole story. The last time I tried to tell the full story about something that had happened, I just couldn't fit it in 140 characters. That's why I still hang around here! :)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't understand the need to use your real name - I thought anonymity was one of the strengths of the internet. Still, it won't fit in well with the values of many furs so hopefully LJ will start booming again.

I treat LJ and Twitter as two different things. It's sad that so many people focus solely on Twitter though as a lot can easily be missed on that network.

[startide.livejournal.com]

The whole "friend" situation is odd how it plays out. For some reason, a lot of people on twitter are following others not because they're interested in them, but because someone else they follow is also following the other person. Or they just want to inflate their follow numbers.

For instance, every now and then someone will mention me in a "follow friday", and then I'll get a bunch of random people I don't know following me, and usually, most of the new followers never actually start conversations with me. Out of the almost 300 people I'm following and being followed by, I don't even know who half of them are, and of the half I do know who they are, maybe 10% of them are people who I consider actual "friends" in the real sense of the word.

I kinda wish Twitter will adopt the circles concept that G+ has. It's a pain to work with lists in Twitter.

I do miss LJ sometimes, but due to the nature of my job, it's hard to find time to type out meaningful posts, and I tend to also fall behind in readong the posts of others. Also, would be nice if LJ would make a decent full-featured android app. The current app is very limited, and buggy, and since my internet acces is almost exclusively through a mobile phone, LJ is a pain to work with in a mobile browser.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Inflation of follow numbers was something I indulged in for a while, although I was genuinely interested in what people had to say. Follow Fridays I see as being flattering - people clearly like what you say and are recommending you to others. Indeed, I don't understand those people who use social networks solely as interaction between friends and no-one else. To me, they are a tool to meet new people first and foremost.

I am lucky with LJ as I have to use the bus to get to work. This 25 minutes of dead time each way means I can update my journal through the iPhone app. It's actually quite convenient. I do the same with Twitter but the way the site works, it's very difficult to keep up.

[moth-wingthane.livejournal.com]

Twitter is good and I've enjoyed using it more than I thought I would but because I can only use it from PCs at home, it feels much like walking into a party that's been going on for some time, and where everyone else knows what's been going on and won't bother to repeat it.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I do like Twitter but I think I use it differently to most people on there. And sadly, when it's the exclusive domain of so many people and I find it difficult to interact in conversations already ongoing, it is tough.

[avon-deer.livejournal.com]

Twitter, meanwhile, is far more impatient and I simply do not have the time or energy to devote to it.

For me it is a best efforts service. If I am following what is going on I will interact. If I am busy doing other things and I miss a post as a result. Tough.

I don't have the time or inclination to be enslaved by that thing. LJ was much easier to keep track of as posts tended to be once a week affairs, and of a content which is genuinely interesting.

AS for the Google situation, it is a shame to have to face up to the fact that Google are merely showing their true colours. We dared to dream that they might be different to other corporations. That "this time it might be different." Pipe dream. They are all the same.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I find conversations on Twitter desperately hard to follow. And I find entering them halfway through even more difficult. This is why I never do that.

I love LJ because it's a blog where you can espouse about anything. Furthermore there is an archive and you can respond to people in your own time.

Google's conduct in China proved to me that they were no different.

[mortonfox.livejournal.com]

To me, Twitter is like dipping a bucket into a river every now and then. I don't feel the need to keep up with it. If I check the home timeline and happen to see something interesting, then that's great. Otherwise, it's no big deal. If something is really important, I'm likely to hear about it from other sources anyway.

[bloodbeauty.livejournal.com]

yeah, this, at first i tried to keep up with everything but that's not how it works, you just dip in to see what's happening *RIGHT NOW*

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't feel the need to keep up with it but the problem is that a lot of my friends are solely on there and entering a conversation halfway through is difficult for me. I get an odd sense of social awkwardness.

[bloodbeauty.livejournal.com]

I've found that i post different things to different sites,

twitter for on the go thoughts and random bits that don't fir anywhere else, sharing photos from my phone and links from around the web.

Google+ for talking to people i actually want to have conversations with not just random comments now and then. and for posting links to longer articles, and more political stuff.

facebook is mostly limited to updates to keep old school friends/acquaintances abreast of how/what i'm doing

livejournal is for long posts about how i'm feeling/coping/progressing

tumblr i mostly only reblog on, and it's almost entirely cute pictures of small animals, porn and stuff with HP/Glee/GoT etc

Fetlife is for keeping up with my kinky friends, occasionally there are interesting discussions, but mostly it's so i can see who's getting into relationships and when they post NSFW pictures.

those are my main ones lol, but i do use more! i'm a bit addicted to social networks i think

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I do use twitter and Facebook for different things, as well as LJ too. I do have a Fetlife account but have never really utilised it. It's just sad that there are so many networks now that the furry community seems to become more disperate. Also, I don't like being shoehorned into using a particular network just because that's where everyone else is. I must admit I yearn for the days when LJ was bristling with life.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Social networking and my online presence is solely there to faciliate meeting people in real life. One of the reasons I'm online less these days is because I have a good social life in my locale.

[vulpixnine.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, I could never forget you. I still owe you art :P. It is just hard for me to do anything.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Aww *hugs* - no worries about the art, just do it when you can :)

[stuart-otterson.livejournal.com]

I'm not too bothered about labels like 'friendship' myself personally, I've learnt in the last year or so to place no importance in what they are in words. In my heart I know what my relationship with someone is, perhaps there's a word to describe it, perhaps there isn't.

Thus it doesn't matter to me what a 'real friendship' is, because my relationships with people are each different and it would be pointless assigning a word to describe each one. :D

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I guess relationships with anyone are complicated and very difficult to describe. I got bogged down with this last month when discussing the nature of familial love with my parents.