Manholes For Manners

[lupestripe]

Reading Jocasta's travelogue of Japan, and particularly how polite everyone was, I started to wonder about manners in this country. Nowadays, most people in the UK seem to be very rude and uptight, and this lack of common courtesy is having a knock-on effect on my own behaviour. It is making this country a thoroughly miserable place to be.

I was always raised to be courteous and polite so I don't use my phone on the bus nor do I listen to loud music for fear of pissing someone else off. I don't talk loudly, eat smelly food or swear around strangers either, nor do I share my munty breath around. Seriously, the secondary smell of chewing gum and halitosis is worse than smoking. All these are bus things and this may be tainting my view - relaxing on public transport is pretty much impossible for me.

However, out and about I hold doors open for people yet the number of thank yous I receive has diminished in recent times. In the high street there is a heads down bulldozer attitude which literally bowls me away.

We seem to live in a society that celebrates individualism over community. The recent cuts have demonstrated this attitude perfectly - don't scale back MY stuff, THEIR stuff is what should face the axe. The politics of selfishness is ruling and this attitude has pervaded into culture. This has been catalysed by advertising, who use stereotypes designed to make us feel insecure by portraying aspirations which we could never possibly live up to.

Coupled with the difficult economic situation and heightened stress over the need to make a living, I guess this rise of rudeness is understandable. It doesn't make it right though but it's difficult to see how we can go back. I'm sure the vast majority of people are nice once you get to know them but there is an open hostility to strangers right now which I'm not sure was there before.

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Comments

[elfasi.livejournal.com]

It's interesting how coloured your perception of society and people and manners is from regular travel on public transport. I walk/cycle to work, and before that I drove to work. I've never really taken public transport anywhere regular, except to college when I didn't have my driving licence yet.

And yet, I worked retail for 5 years, in a scummy shop, in a scummy part of town, and I remember how much it eroded my patience, and my good will, and my faith in humanity. The amount of abuse I took in that position was frankly unbelievable. But mostly, decent people didn't go there much. Neither to that kind of shop or that part of town. I wasn't seeing a fair representation of society.

Of course it could be said I'm still not seeing a fair representation of society now. I drive around, I see friends, I see shops, I see an office staffed with hundreds of incredibly bright and talented individuals. My outlook on life is very optimistic and positive, I like this country, I don't see it in some kind of death spiral of social values. I don't watch or read the news very much. Lately Twitter reminds me if I missed anything big. I live my life, with what I have, who I have, and aside from money woes, I'm happy.

Maybe I'm too ignorant of the ills of the world, or maybe I'm avoiding being dragged down by that which I have very little power to change. And maybe I'm just real lucky I've never had to partake much in public transport.

[tinycorvid.livejournal.com]

I pretty much agree with you, it seems like things have got worse - actually London seems to be particularly bad, far worse than up in Scotland. I'm the same as you, I try to be polite and courteous: a couple weeks ago I gave up my seat for a pregnant woman on the crowded tube and she wouldn't stop thanking me, which makes me wonder whether it was the first time someone had done that for her. I often get doors swung back into my face because the person in front couldn't spare an extra second, or shouted at because someone decided to walk into me. After being in Japan and on their public transport, it makes things seem so much worse.

[startide.livejournal.com]

Seems to be like that over here too. As a truck driver, I've been to nearly every US state, and people are downright rude and assholish all over here, with the exception of the west coast, California in particular. The west coast seems to have all the cheerful people, hehe.

[harlequeen.livejournal.com]

On the bus this morning people still seemed nice. GIving up their seats for the elderly. Smiling at eachother. Maybe I should take off my rose tinted specs, but I don't think we're doomed yet. However, The Apprentice has started again, and the 80s I'm all right jack gets its airing.