On Changing Allegiances
Feb. 14th, 2018 12:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lupestripeI have been interested in football for around twenty-five years now and have supported Middlesbrough for most of this time. However, over the last year or so, I have found my interest waning. It's quite common for my interest to go in peaks and troughs, but this time it feels different.
Part of the issue relates to how abysmally we surrendered our Premier League status last season. Having gone through the rollercoaster of seven years in the Championship - one season when we were almost relegated, the season we lost the play-off final to Norwich before making amends and securing automatic promotion the following campaign - to throw away everything we had worked so hard to achieve was particularly galling. And it wasn't even that we went down fighting - I could have accepted that - it was more that our failings in front of goal were obvious pretty early on and nothing was done to rectify the situation. The players seemed to go through the motions and this lack of passion made me question my own feelings towards the club. Having gone through the highs and lows of the previous seven seasons, to be back to square one made me wonder what the point of it all was and how little I could actually effect things. Why go through all of that torture when it was clear that it didn't matter at all?
The other issue relates to Brexit. Middlesbrough was one of the most pro-Leave places in the country and I can understand the reasons behind this. However, Brexit is a deeply personal issue for me as it cuts right through to my very identity, making the juxtaposition between the local and national aspects of this somewhat jarring. I still believe that Brexit is a supremely bad idea, particularly for regions like Teesside, and because I cannot fathom the alternate view as it seems contrary to all evidence, I feel I have lost connection with the area where I grew up. What compounds this is what I stand to lose. My freedom to live and work in one of 27 other countries is being taken away from me without my consent and this is such a fundamental political principle that I am struggling to see beyond it. Hell, I'm even struggling to forgive. In addition to this, it highlighted what I suppose I already knew, that although I am a product of the area in which I grew up, I have somewhat moved away from its principles in the intervening years. It's a place I barely recognise any more and considering that supporting the football club was largely about local pride - a pride which I no longer have - then I guess it's no longer surprising that I don't feel the same emotions I once did.
Of course, there are other things going on too. My love of football has diminished in general due to the amounts of money involved in the game and how most trophies are won by the same teams year-in year-out. The fact that Sky also alter the kick off times with regularity has also reduced my involvement as I'm simply not willing to have my life dictated to me by Murdoch.
Being in the Championship means that the club has far less exposure than it did previously, and because we failed to help ourselves last year in our Premier League campaign, my sympathy has somewhat dried up. Indeed, I feel similarly about the Brexit vote if I was being honest. Furthermore, as sports is largely my job, there is an element of getting as far away from this as possible during my leisure time. As I no longer go to games, I could barely tell you any of the Boro squad these days, while I would rather spend money on other things than go on the away days I used to do in the mid-2000s, as enjoyable as those undoubtedly were.
Maybe all of this will change, but I highly doubt it. In the unlikely event Brexit gets cancelled then maybe, but even then I doubt I will have the same passion for my home area as I did before. Perhaps I have just moved on, or perhaps I am just a 'citizen of nowhere'. I don't know. But it's odd reflecting on how much has changed in recent times.
Part of the issue relates to how abysmally we surrendered our Premier League status last season. Having gone through the rollercoaster of seven years in the Championship - one season when we were almost relegated, the season we lost the play-off final to Norwich before making amends and securing automatic promotion the following campaign - to throw away everything we had worked so hard to achieve was particularly galling. And it wasn't even that we went down fighting - I could have accepted that - it was more that our failings in front of goal were obvious pretty early on and nothing was done to rectify the situation. The players seemed to go through the motions and this lack of passion made me question my own feelings towards the club. Having gone through the highs and lows of the previous seven seasons, to be back to square one made me wonder what the point of it all was and how little I could actually effect things. Why go through all of that torture when it was clear that it didn't matter at all?
The other issue relates to Brexit. Middlesbrough was one of the most pro-Leave places in the country and I can understand the reasons behind this. However, Brexit is a deeply personal issue for me as it cuts right through to my very identity, making the juxtaposition between the local and national aspects of this somewhat jarring. I still believe that Brexit is a supremely bad idea, particularly for regions like Teesside, and because I cannot fathom the alternate view as it seems contrary to all evidence, I feel I have lost connection with the area where I grew up. What compounds this is what I stand to lose. My freedom to live and work in one of 27 other countries is being taken away from me without my consent and this is such a fundamental political principle that I am struggling to see beyond it. Hell, I'm even struggling to forgive. In addition to this, it highlighted what I suppose I already knew, that although I am a product of the area in which I grew up, I have somewhat moved away from its principles in the intervening years. It's a place I barely recognise any more and considering that supporting the football club was largely about local pride - a pride which I no longer have - then I guess it's no longer surprising that I don't feel the same emotions I once did.
Of course, there are other things going on too. My love of football has diminished in general due to the amounts of money involved in the game and how most trophies are won by the same teams year-in year-out. The fact that Sky also alter the kick off times with regularity has also reduced my involvement as I'm simply not willing to have my life dictated to me by Murdoch.
Being in the Championship means that the club has far less exposure than it did previously, and because we failed to help ourselves last year in our Premier League campaign, my sympathy has somewhat dried up. Indeed, I feel similarly about the Brexit vote if I was being honest. Furthermore, as sports is largely my job, there is an element of getting as far away from this as possible during my leisure time. As I no longer go to games, I could barely tell you any of the Boro squad these days, while I would rather spend money on other things than go on the away days I used to do in the mid-2000s, as enjoyable as those undoubtedly were.
Maybe all of this will change, but I highly doubt it. In the unlikely event Brexit gets cancelled then maybe, but even then I doubt I will have the same passion for my home area as I did before. Perhaps I have just moved on, or perhaps I am just a 'citizen of nowhere'. I don't know. But it's odd reflecting on how much has changed in recent times.
