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lupestripeLooking back at my review of 2024, you can pretty much copy and paste most of it for 2025. It's incredible to think that so little has been resolved in the last 12 months, which at least suggests a more even keel. And yet, it doesn't really. We spent most of the first half of the year oscillating over whether we should stay in Germany or return back to the UK, ending up deciding we would see through the five years and make a decision then. This was in November and I am still in the process of dealing with the authorities to renew my status. Wolfie hasn't even started. We said we weren't going to make a decision until we got this sorted, so it's clear we'll be here until deep into 2026.
Some things have improved, particularly socially. Ever since Al Song arrived in Berlin in September, my social life has significantly stepped up. He's encouraging me to go out and do things, some of which for the first time. He encouraged me to go to Club Animalz and Berghain in November, while I went to my very first escape room just this past week. With Notefox also wanting to meet up more, I feel we have developed a nice group of friends here, so this is encouraging. I don't really go to any of the main events any more - the BDSM munch is always too early on a Saturday and the Fureigners meet-ups are registration events and I never know how I will feel three weeks in advance - but I did go to my first Berlin Fursuit Walk in November too and I'm happy doing my own thing.
Things have been pretty relentless since June and I have felt incredibly fatigued. I'm sure the main issue is worry and I know I'm getting increasingly paranoid about a range of things despite always seeking and following professional advice. The UK house being broken into in January hasn't helped in this regard, but I'm just concerned I'm doing something wrong somewhere. Cross-border tax is complicated, as is having a footprint in two countries, while financial pressures are never far away. To that end, I've made a good stab at my freelance business though. Having set this up to accommodate my first client in November 2024, I now have three clients on the books and a fourth is looking likely in the new year. Despite this, this was only meant to be a temporary thing. I would like a full-time job and have applied for nearly 70 this year. Unfortunately, many of these have either been non-jobs or data harvesting schemes, while some I'm sure have already been recruited and the job posting is just a legal formality. It has been quite disheartening, not least because I desperately want to switch industries, but I just have to keep going. Having some publishers on the books, particularly Fenris Publishing, will certainly help position me where I want to be professionally as I'd love to be a full-time editor and proofreader for a major publisher. This is now my aim. How likely that is, I don't know, not least because of AI infecting literally everything, but I am still going to give it my best shot.
2025 has been the best year for my writing, with four stories having been published in various anthologies. I formed a writing group back in the Spring and we meet once a month. I've learned a lot from their feedback and I hope I have been as insightful in return. I also feel I have developed as a writer, having written my best stories in the first half of the year. While I have submitted more stories for consideration than ever before, this means I have also had more rejections too, and I have taken some of these to heart. Still, I feel I have become more established as a furry author this year and my website seems to be doing quite well, so I'm hoping to increase this trajectory in the new year. I've already submitted some panel ideas at some of the conventions I'll be attending, so hopefully this will help too. I do wish that writers were more valued in our community though. I love the little writing niche we have in the fandom, but it's sad that we're not really seen on a par with musicians and artists.
Politically, it has been a terrible year, but at least the AfD did not gain a foothold in the German elections back in February. The current CDU/SPD government seems to be on a pretty even keel so there should be no horrible surprises coming. The situation in the UK and US is more despairing though and the anti-trans panic in particular is one of the reasons we have stayed put in Germany. Seeing the rise of fascism in real-time and the pain it is causing to minorities is heartbreaking, as is the knowledge that I may not be able to see my friends in the US for quite some time. I didn't go to MFF this year as a result, but the positive was I got to see my SE Asian furry friends for the first time in six years and I had forgotten how much I'd missed them.
Wolfie has had a checkered year regarding health, with his legs and feet causing considerable issues. This came to a head in the summer when he finally went to see a doctor. They prescribed anti-gout medication, which seems to have resolved one of the issues, but the muscle problems persist. These are more erratic, so he's going to the doctor again next week. This has severely limited what he has been able to do and he has not gone on that many trips as a result. He sat out SE Asia, couldn't come back to the UK for my birthday (this was the first time we hadn't been together on my birthday during our 18-year relationship) and he couldn't visit Blujay or Petephin in the Summer. It has stopped him going to a range of local events too, while our kink relationship is pretty much non-existent. There have been times where I've had to do nearly all of the housework as he's been too incapacitated to do anything, and I have found this frustrating on occasion. It has certainly put a strain on our relationship and I wish I could be more accommodating and supportive than I am. This year has seen a lot thrown at me though, particularly in the latter half where I've been trying to pinpoint the reason for my chronic fatigue along with having to go through routine medical and dental checks. Ultimately, I think I have ADHD, but despite finding people willing to help, when push came to shove, they fell through. I really should get this sorted in the new year.
Something else I should sort in 2026 is learning German, at least to B1 level. If we decide to get citizenship - for which we are now eligible - I'll need to pass this exam at the bear minimum. I'm not sure whether we will, nor am I sure how likely Wolfie will attain it, but this is a question for the new year. I do kick myself at just how lax I have been regarding learning the language, not least during times when I am lost in conversation, but in Berlin it's rarely needed and that has really hit my motivation. Being stupidly busy has done the same. Losing weight has also fallen by the wayside, as it often does. Indeed, I have probably put weight on this year as I am doing less walking through focusing on writing. This is something else I need to work on in the new year as it's affecting my self-esteem (but the reality is bugger all will probably change).
So it's been a year of treading water really, no different to 2024 aside from the existential dread of politics and the rise of AI. You've got to hope for better in 2026, but with Labour disappointing in the UK and the CDU terrible here, my expectations are low. Still, we do have a good community and I have many close friends, so I'm sure I can get through it. However, things like age verification laws and digital surveillance threaten even that. These are two more reasons why I have not yet decamped back to the UK. I guess we'll see how things go and take them one step at a time, but it would be nice if I felt able to relax. Alas, that doesn't seem like it'll be happening for quite some time.
Some things have improved, particularly socially. Ever since Al Song arrived in Berlin in September, my social life has significantly stepped up. He's encouraging me to go out and do things, some of which for the first time. He encouraged me to go to Club Animalz and Berghain in November, while I went to my very first escape room just this past week. With Notefox also wanting to meet up more, I feel we have developed a nice group of friends here, so this is encouraging. I don't really go to any of the main events any more - the BDSM munch is always too early on a Saturday and the Fureigners meet-ups are registration events and I never know how I will feel three weeks in advance - but I did go to my first Berlin Fursuit Walk in November too and I'm happy doing my own thing.
Things have been pretty relentless since June and I have felt incredibly fatigued. I'm sure the main issue is worry and I know I'm getting increasingly paranoid about a range of things despite always seeking and following professional advice. The UK house being broken into in January hasn't helped in this regard, but I'm just concerned I'm doing something wrong somewhere. Cross-border tax is complicated, as is having a footprint in two countries, while financial pressures are never far away. To that end, I've made a good stab at my freelance business though. Having set this up to accommodate my first client in November 2024, I now have three clients on the books and a fourth is looking likely in the new year. Despite this, this was only meant to be a temporary thing. I would like a full-time job and have applied for nearly 70 this year. Unfortunately, many of these have either been non-jobs or data harvesting schemes, while some I'm sure have already been recruited and the job posting is just a legal formality. It has been quite disheartening, not least because I desperately want to switch industries, but I just have to keep going. Having some publishers on the books, particularly Fenris Publishing, will certainly help position me where I want to be professionally as I'd love to be a full-time editor and proofreader for a major publisher. This is now my aim. How likely that is, I don't know, not least because of AI infecting literally everything, but I am still going to give it my best shot.
2025 has been the best year for my writing, with four stories having been published in various anthologies. I formed a writing group back in the Spring and we meet once a month. I've learned a lot from their feedback and I hope I have been as insightful in return. I also feel I have developed as a writer, having written my best stories in the first half of the year. While I have submitted more stories for consideration than ever before, this means I have also had more rejections too, and I have taken some of these to heart. Still, I feel I have become more established as a furry author this year and my website seems to be doing quite well, so I'm hoping to increase this trajectory in the new year. I've already submitted some panel ideas at some of the conventions I'll be attending, so hopefully this will help too. I do wish that writers were more valued in our community though. I love the little writing niche we have in the fandom, but it's sad that we're not really seen on a par with musicians and artists.
Politically, it has been a terrible year, but at least the AfD did not gain a foothold in the German elections back in February. The current CDU/SPD government seems to be on a pretty even keel so there should be no horrible surprises coming. The situation in the UK and US is more despairing though and the anti-trans panic in particular is one of the reasons we have stayed put in Germany. Seeing the rise of fascism in real-time and the pain it is causing to minorities is heartbreaking, as is the knowledge that I may not be able to see my friends in the US for quite some time. I didn't go to MFF this year as a result, but the positive was I got to see my SE Asian furry friends for the first time in six years and I had forgotten how much I'd missed them.
Wolfie has had a checkered year regarding health, with his legs and feet causing considerable issues. This came to a head in the summer when he finally went to see a doctor. They prescribed anti-gout medication, which seems to have resolved one of the issues, but the muscle problems persist. These are more erratic, so he's going to the doctor again next week. This has severely limited what he has been able to do and he has not gone on that many trips as a result. He sat out SE Asia, couldn't come back to the UK for my birthday (this was the first time we hadn't been together on my birthday during our 18-year relationship) and he couldn't visit Blujay or Petephin in the Summer. It has stopped him going to a range of local events too, while our kink relationship is pretty much non-existent. There have been times where I've had to do nearly all of the housework as he's been too incapacitated to do anything, and I have found this frustrating on occasion. It has certainly put a strain on our relationship and I wish I could be more accommodating and supportive than I am. This year has seen a lot thrown at me though, particularly in the latter half where I've been trying to pinpoint the reason for my chronic fatigue along with having to go through routine medical and dental checks. Ultimately, I think I have ADHD, but despite finding people willing to help, when push came to shove, they fell through. I really should get this sorted in the new year.
Something else I should sort in 2026 is learning German, at least to B1 level. If we decide to get citizenship - for which we are now eligible - I'll need to pass this exam at the bear minimum. I'm not sure whether we will, nor am I sure how likely Wolfie will attain it, but this is a question for the new year. I do kick myself at just how lax I have been regarding learning the language, not least during times when I am lost in conversation, but in Berlin it's rarely needed and that has really hit my motivation. Being stupidly busy has done the same. Losing weight has also fallen by the wayside, as it often does. Indeed, I have probably put weight on this year as I am doing less walking through focusing on writing. This is something else I need to work on in the new year as it's affecting my self-esteem (but the reality is bugger all will probably change).
So it's been a year of treading water really, no different to 2024 aside from the existential dread of politics and the rise of AI. You've got to hope for better in 2026, but with Labour disappointing in the UK and the CDU terrible here, my expectations are low. Still, we do have a good community and I have many close friends, so I'm sure I can get through it. However, things like age verification laws and digital surveillance threaten even that. These are two more reasons why I have not yet decamped back to the UK. I guess we'll see how things go and take them one step at a time, but it would be nice if I felt able to relax. Alas, that doesn't seem like it'll be happening for quite some time.
