Do Us A Flavour - Builder's Breakfast

[lupestripe]

So these new flavoured crisps then. Of course, flavoured crisps have been around for ages but in an attempt to increase the share price of the Walkers company, they are now wittily urging the public to “Do us a flavour” by choosing a ghastly new concoction for them.

In the name of scientific investigation and the onset of coronary heart disease, Wolfie and I eschewed the traditional Valentine’s Day meal and shared all six packets in a constipation inducing crisp orgy that involved us watching numerous episodes of Family Guy and partaking in a Coca-Cola sorbet between each course.

Every day, you will get the chance to collect this unique pull-out which will be yours to keep forever. Part One comes free with Lupe's LiveJournal today...

Builder’s Breakfast

Less like Builder’s Breakfast, more like Dog’s Dinner - this is about as close to a car crash in crisp form as you can possibly get. Quite clearly the builder has been laid off due to the Credit Crunch and is now spending his day trying to destroy gastronomy like he has destroyed the Hertfordshire countryside. Still, if you eat these, at least you will see some “tits out for the lads” – largely because the tits will be yours.

The picture on the packet is one that a six year old would be embarrassed to show to his teacher, yet Emma from Belper clearly wants to subject the whole country to her rather mis-appropriated “talent”.

This notion is probably as misguided as the original recipe, which is described as a combination of “the mouth-watering flavours of bacon, buttered toast, eggs and tomato sauce”. Well, I like the taste of chocolate, Ribena, roast beef and Dairylea but I wouldn’t dream of combining them to create a flavour of crisps (even though it would probably be better than this abomination).

Anyway, the taste is about as palatable as a builder wolf-whistling at a female executive and it is probably about as flattering too. Effectively, you can take out the bacon and the tomato sauce as you can’t really taste them, leaving you with experience of eggs and butter. And stale eggs at that. I imagine it’s about as close to eating a fart as is humanly possible.

According to the woman in the shop who served me these, “at least it won’t be as bad as builder’s bum”. Well, I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever rimmed plumbers.

And to be honest, I doubt whether builder rimming would be worse than this.

Lupe’s Verdict: 4/10
Wolfie’s Verdict: 5/10

Tune in tomorrow when the delightful Fish And Chips flavour will be under the microscope...

Comments

[schnee.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* I'm surprised you gave them a 4/10 after that devastating critique. :)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Good point come to think of it. I must have been in quite a forgiving mood...

[schnee.livejournal.com]

Seems like, yes. :) *hugs*

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I won't be for the next flavour...

[schnee.livejournal.com]

If it doesn't deserve it, you shouldn't be!

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I can't remember what I have written now lols. I remember Builder's Breakfast definitely being one of the worst flavours though.

[schnee.livejournal.com]

:)

[shep-shepherd.livejournal.com]

Do you remember the Big Breakfast flavour that Walkers did for the eponymous breakfast TV programme in the mid-1990s? I wonder if the Builder's Breakfast ones are simply that flavour reloaded?

[alexf0x.livejournal.com]

possibly, and it's possibly as lame as Chris Evans too.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I quite like Chris Evans - I don't know why. Perhaps it's the entrepreneurial bent he had.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't but I imagine that these crisps taste similar to Paula Yates's bedsheets. It probably is a rehashing - after all, the obese 3-10 year old market didn't experience it the first time...

[shep-shepherd.livejournal.com]

I think I'll give them a miss, along with the rest of the new flavours.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

You should give them a try, you might like them.

[albrecht-fur.livejournal.com]

still not as awful as the chocolate and chilli though :P

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

That review is still to come although I thought that choc and chilli was better than this disgusting concoction.

[albrecht-fur.livejournal.com]

yeah the Baji is reasonably bang on, don't think I've had the duck yet

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

It's good the Bhaji one - my review of that will come at some point this week no doubt :)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Well you'll see tomorrow what I think of Fish and Chips, suffice to say the musty minge reference is scarily close to my own view.

Agree with you on Duck and Bhaji but they are both quite normal flavours and so were always really going to work.

[rustyfox.livejournal.com]

Blah, Walkers. I hate Walkers. Their multipack bags are tiny and they totally killed off Smiths Salt 'n Shake, turning them into plain unsalted Walkers - in tiny multipack bags.

A pox on Walkers.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't like them because they hammered Golden Wonder out of the market through some pretty aggressive tactics. Salt and Shake is still good but not as great as I remember them in the olden days.

Walkers are a subsidiary of the American company Frito Lay I believe - and I have always had a problem with that for some reason. And yes, like Pringles, they are stealthily reducing their packet sizes. I am sure they used to be 34.5g, then 30g and now they are 25g.

[shep-shepherd.livejournal.com]

Don't Golden Wonder still exist after a fashion?

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

They do but where can you get them nowadays? You hardly see them. They are like Wimpy to Walkers' McDonald's.

[alexf0x.livejournal.com]

where can I get these vile things? I can't find them anyware, and I want to try them to see how horrid they are.

I want a party going on in my mouth... And everyone to be puking dammit!

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I got them in Sainsbury's but they are sold in a lot of places. I have noticed that most provincial newsagents don't stock them though, perhaps because there is too much of a risk factor involved when compared to the more traditional flavours.

[alexf0x.livejournal.com]

That's odd when I went to Sainsbury's in central Cambridge today I couldn't find any on sale. Which is a shame since I do want to try them just to find out if they are as bad as people say they are.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Cambridge Sainsbury's is quite small though so they probably haven't stocked them. I suggest going to the Tesco or ASDA near the football ground :)

[actively-lazy.livejournal.com]

I was going to do something like this when i got paid, its a shame they wont do all 6 in a family bag like they do with other flavours. Stingy Walkers.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

They do six packs with two packs of three flavours in them at Sainsbury's.

[actively-lazy.livejournal.com]

hmm, may have to check them out then.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

You should although I notice that they have cunningly mixed the vile and the non-vile flavours together meaning you have to try one of the truly God-awful ones.

[stuart-otterson.livejournal.com]

My Sainsbury's kept them every so slightly out of the way by putting them on a low shelf. But yeah like Lupe says they come in 2 six packs.

Well that was an amusing read I must say me pink mohawk comrade and I'm glad you're doing this feature! I read Sci's review the other day and it actually made me go out to try them myself to see if I concurred. Perhaps that's Walker's tactics, word of mouth! D:

I haven't gotten round to the builder's breakfast, so I can't compare my experience. D:

And my Allah does Walkers annoy me. I definitely know they've been shrinking the amount they put in a packet TOO far, cus it takes just over a minute for me to munch through a packet! Unbelievable. After I finish their flavour thingies, I'm never buying a regular walkers packet again until they return it to some reasonable weight again. Besides I've been watching to try out a cool trend in the crisps market, parsnip and carrot crisps! I had parsnip crisps from M&S and they were divine.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Actually, it was the same here, they were on a low shelf too. Wonder if it relates to shame over selling such vile flavours.

I am glad you liked the review hun and I hope you like the other five. I haven't read Sci's - where is it, it would be interesting to look at it?

Don't bother with BB, it's dreadful. No, truly it is. It's like stale eggs.

I like the parsnip and carrot crisps. To be honest, I prefer practically every other crisp to Walkers - with Burt's and Pipers being the best :)

[stuart-otterson.livejournal.com]

http://sci.livejournal.com/879095.html

And what would I do with the BB crisp if I didn't eat them?! If I leave they long enough they truly will go stale!

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Thanks hun - I think my reviews are a little more abstract :P

[marston.livejournal.com]

Charlie's Reviews :)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/feb/16/walkers-crisps-new-flavours-brooker

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Yep, I read those but I thought of the idea before him. He just published it quicker :P

[stuart-otterson.livejournal.com]

Mr Brooks is the man! Damn that was hilarious! XD

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

'Tis rather good :D

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

He could, of course, be related to a Mr Sea Brooks, which suggests crisp conspiracy to me...

[metamorphosys.livejournal.com]

Is there any chance you can post a picture of the packets? I really enjoyed reading that and the mind boggles at what Walkers will do to get money. Take care.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Yep sure - I have saved all the packets - will try and get a picture sorted out soon :)

[leoniveus.livejournal.com]

wait until you try the Chilli and Chocolate o_o... wow they're bad xD

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I've had them all, just have to write the reviews for them really. Chilli and Chocolate is already done - they're not as bad as Builder's Breakfast but they're not particularly pleasant.

[leoniveus.livejournal.com]

I personally found them much, much worse... but that's my taste I guess xD. eating crap would have been more pleasant

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

The thought had crossed my mind - I think they taste more like vomit than anything else.