Do Us A Flavour - Builder's Breakfast

[lupestripe]

So these new flavoured crisps then. Of course, flavoured crisps have been around for ages but in an attempt to increase the share price of the Walkers company, they are now wittily urging the public to “Do us a flavour” by choosing a ghastly new concoction for them.

In the name of scientific investigation and the onset of coronary heart disease, Wolfie and I eschewed the traditional Valentine’s Day meal and shared all six packets in a constipation inducing crisp orgy that involved us watching numerous episodes of Family Guy and partaking in a Coca-Cola sorbet between each course.

Every day, you will get the chance to collect this unique pull-out which will be yours to keep forever. Part One comes free with Lupe's LiveJournal today...

Builder’s Breakfast

Less like Builder’s Breakfast, more like Dog’s Dinner - this is about as close to a car crash in crisp form as you can possibly get. Quite clearly the builder has been laid off due to the Credit Crunch and is now spending his day trying to destroy gastronomy like he has destroyed the Hertfordshire countryside. Still, if you eat these, at least you will see some “tits out for the lads” – largely because the tits will be yours.

The picture on the packet is one that a six year old would be embarrassed to show to his teacher, yet Emma from Belper clearly wants to subject the whole country to her rather mis-appropriated “talent”.

This notion is probably as misguided as the original recipe, which is described as a combination of “the mouth-watering flavours of bacon, buttered toast, eggs and tomato sauce”. Well, I like the taste of chocolate, Ribena, roast beef and Dairylea but I wouldn’t dream of combining them to create a flavour of crisps (even though it would probably be better than this abomination).

Anyway, the taste is about as palatable as a builder wolf-whistling at a female executive and it is probably about as flattering too. Effectively, you can take out the bacon and the tomato sauce as you can’t really taste them, leaving you with experience of eggs and butter. And stale eggs at that. I imagine it’s about as close to eating a fart as is humanly possible.

According to the woman in the shop who served me these, “at least it won’t be as bad as builder’s bum”. Well, I wouldn’t know. I’ve only ever rimmed plumbers.

And to be honest, I doubt whether builder rimming would be worse than this.

Lupe’s Verdict: 4/10
Wolfie’s Verdict: 5/10

Tune in tomorrow when the delightful Fish And Chips flavour will be under the microscope...

Comments

[alexf0x.livejournal.com]

where can I get these vile things? I can't find them anyware, and I want to try them to see how horrid they are.

I want a party going on in my mouth... And everyone to be puking dammit!

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I got them in Sainsbury's but they are sold in a lot of places. I have noticed that most provincial newsagents don't stock them though, perhaps because there is too much of a risk factor involved when compared to the more traditional flavours.

[alexf0x.livejournal.com]

That's odd when I went to Sainsbury's in central Cambridge today I couldn't find any on sale. Which is a shame since I do want to try them just to find out if they are as bad as people say they are.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Cambridge Sainsbury's is quite small though so they probably haven't stocked them. I suggest going to the Tesco or ASDA near the football ground :)