Explaining The Furry Thing

[lupestripe]

Yesterday, when walking around the Christmas Market in Manchester, a lady selling overly-expensive pork pies asked me why I was wearing my collar. My collar is an important part of me - it symbolises my relationship with Wolfie more than anything else, as well as me being furry. It's something that I enjoy wearing on a day-to-day basis and to me it's like a ring, necklace or bracelet.

However, I also have to accept that a 27 year old man wearing a dog collar is going to draw some funny looks and questions. I couldn't really answer her question really - I can't go into the whole ownership D/s thing and I can't really extol being a furry to people who probably wouldn't understand. I also can't really say I am a goth as goths tend not to wear tags on their collars and I rarely dress in all black.

Apart from "it's something I enjoy doing", which is somewhat of a limp reason, what else can I say? Granted, I am not answerable to anyone but I don't wish to be rude. Any ideas?

P.S. A collar does make a really nice scarf as it does keep your neck warm when it's cold :-)

Comments

[bosn.livejournal.com]

My answer always is "Because I'm being me. If I didn't wear my collar I would be someone else"

Or

check to see if she is wearing her wedding ring and say, "the same reason you are wearing a wedding ring"

[tr-wolf.livejournal.com]

I'd say either:

"It's my version of a wedding ring"

or

"It's just a bit of fun"

or

"So I remember who I am" :P

or

"I'm a bit of a kinky bugger, thats all"

[mito-dafox.livejournal.com]

Just say its a personal fashion statement and leave it at that.

[lastres0rt.livejournal.com]

Second this.

Not all BDSM folks wear collars, and neither do all furries. (In fact, I've avoided wearing collars thus far primarily because of the BDSM overtones.)

As such, I would avoid making statements that she could extrapolate to other folks.

[schnee.livejournal.com]

I couldn't really answer her question really - I can't go into the whole ownership D/s thing and I can't really extol being a furry to people who probably wouldn't understand.

Why not?

Put another way, can't you, or don't you want to? It's OK to not want to, of course, but I think doing it would actually be relatively easy — if you said "it's an SM thing"[1], chances are that even though she'd not really understand the specifics of your relationship power dynamics etc., she'd have a general idea, at least: the question "why are you wearing a collar" would've been answered.

Of course, it's hard to predict how she would react. It's quite possible she wouldn't accept it, but then, you don't know her, and as long as YOU accept it, the opinion of a random stranger needn't concern you, right? :)

Put another way — it's part of you, and it's a part that's good and fine and that you can be proud of. There's nothing shameful about it, nothing that would need to be hidden or lied about; you can hold your head high and say "this is who and what I am", and if anybody doesn't accept that... well, then that's their problem, not yours.

1. Yes, you and I both know that "BDSM" is really the correct term, but random people on the street won't, and you gotta speak their language. :)

[bloodwolves.livejournal.com]

Have you tried one of those overly-expensive pork pies?.Wear the collar with pride,hun

[rustyfox.livejournal.com]

"It's a dog thing"

That promptly shut up enquiring minds when I used to wear mine!

[felis-gothique.livejournal.com]

Because I want to is usually my response

[slinkat.livejournal.com]

"Why are you wearing those earrings / necklace / fake tan / overly expensive designer glasses" etc

I tend not to wear mine out and about, even at furmeets, as it's rubber and probably much more overtly fetishistic than a regular collar. I have been asked once by a friendly lady who said "I should get a lead and attach it to you!" :-)

[tjcoyote.livejournal.com]

P.S. A collar does make a really nice scarf as it does keep your neck warm when it's cold :-)

I've thought the same thing, but figured it was kind of odd to think that way. Glad I'm not the only one. Maybe it's also the warm fuzzy feeling one gets from wearing a collar.

[vee-master.livejournal.com]

fashion statement.

or you can say "it's a better alternative to piercing my body"

[symphonic-rp.livejournal.com]

If I were inclined to fib, I'd say something along the lines of "My significant other and I are in the dog training business. The collar is an affectionate gag, in lieu of an engagement ring."

If I were inclined to be honest, I’d say "My significant other and I are in this fandom for cartoon type animal characters. The collar is a fandom fashion statement. It says I've been collared, meaning engaged."

Anything you answer will most likely generate more questions, but if you answer all questions in a pleasant demeanor, whatever you say will sound good.

It's also good to use references that outsiders will be familiar with. Like, if you say "My significant other and I are collectors of Pound Puppies, My Little Ponies, and other cute things we grew up with," they will have a reference that will make it seem like you're not coming from some other planet. You're not trying to sell the fandom. So they don't need to know there's anything more to it than that.

It's a good thing to keep in mind a list of things about the fandom the general public can relate to that you can use in an on the spot explanation. I've been getting away with that since the 70's and haven't had any problems with such situations.

[altivo.livejournal.com]

Possible responses:

• Fashion is as fashion does
• I'm starting a new fad
• What else would I put this tag on?
• It's to cover up the scars
• It's a visible symbol of the parts you can't see
• I'm demonstrating against PETA by wearing leather
• It's for religious reasons
• It keeps my head on

[kenshinwolf.livejournal.com]

Tell her it's so she can help you find your owner if you get lost.

[blueberrybadger.livejournal.com]

"Why are you selling overpriced bottles of shit in the cold?"

but in all seriousness just say you like it :P I don't think they would want a TLDR explanation of furry and its social complexities anyhoo.