To Perceive Or Not Perceive...

[lupestripe]

In all honesty, is it obvious that I am gay?

Some people think that it is obvious in my mannerisms yet others tell me that they wouldn't have known unless I had told them.

In the end, I am just me so I am not bothered. I was just interested how I came across lols.

Comments

[marston.livejournal.com]

I never would've guessed based on how you act but I guess I'm not too perceptive or else don't like to make assumptions :)

[fen-ra.livejournal.com]

What he said. ^^

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't make assumptions myself, to the point that I don't notice things that to others seem so obvious. I don't really care what people are like provided they are not arseholes. I know it sounds fundamentally basic but it's true. I never judge anyone else on external constraints and always try to find out who they are first. That is why, to me, it really doesn't matter who you are provided you are a great person on the inside.

[shep-shepherd.livejournal.com]

Apart from the pink hair, not really :)

Almost everyone who knows I'm gay thought I was straight until I told them otherwise, even though some of the things I say and do can be really quite gay :)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I admit that the pink is camping it up a bit but when I was 18 I once wore my hair in pigtails around my local secondary school. Lots of people I didn't know came up to me and said "oh you're gay" yet they never did this before. I always wondered how wearing pigtails meant my sexuality was suddenly changed.

You seem a straight guy on appearances, you certainly are not camp (but the distinction between camp and gay is a very important one and one that is often blurred by the media). I guess that the media's distortion makes us judge gayness as campness, I don't know. It's a very interesting subject.

[jackalesque.livejournal.com]

Nah, it's not really obvious, I wouldn't have guessed.

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

Some say yay and some say nay, I guess it's based on perception and the viewer's own life experiences. I don't know, most furs it is hard to tell what their sexuality is but then I don't go around assessing the sexuality of people anyway. I just wondering if it appeared obvious to me as people are giving mixed messages.

[enteirah]

For some people it is blatently obvious. For others, it's less obvious. You almost certainly fall into the earlier category, though admittedly I couldn't actually say why! (There's a few folks I find this with!) Like you say, it's not worth worrying about though!

Do you feel that it is obvious you are gay? What do you think would make it obvious? Is there anything obvious you find around me?

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't know really, I am just me. I have always struggled with who I am and indeed have a deep-seated revulsion of myself because of it. It took me ten years to accept I was gay, which is a long time in anyone's book and now I am sure, it's one of the few things in my life that I am sure about.

The thing that interested me is how it is obvious that I am. I don't think my mannerisms are that gay at all yet some people have told me it is obvious and others say that it is not. This implies to me that the state of perception between people is different and how they judge perceived homosexuality is. But then what is the difference, is it life experience or how it relates to who they are?

If I met you, I would have thought you were straight but then I don't really judge these things so I am not the best assessor.

[kenno-fox.livejournal.com]

one or two things but its still very hard to tell. Everyone is still shocked, when they find out I'm bi

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I guess I knew you after you had told people so I didn't know you otherwise. Therefore it's hard for me to judge. I would say you are quite openly bi, which is a good thing in my opinion.

What one or two things would these be?

[baloki.livejournal.com]

Drunk or being sick? That mood icon is confusing...

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Drunk and being sick are clearly separated by three or four pints and I have never yet gone green through alcohol so it is clearly wrong. I'm going to write to my MP...

[wolfie-uk.livejournal.com]

Well you being gay is a broad and sweeping statement especially after our talk about girls :P But there are some rather subtle things that you do that allude to that fact some notice others don't.

(least you don't wear the diamond earing anymore)

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I like my diamond earing!! What was wrong with it?! I have seen a few chavs where those and I would like you to challenge the sexuality of them :P

I don't know, you know my history and why I am far more comfortable now than I have been in the past regarding my sex life and my sexuality. Seriously, over the last year or so, it is the first time in my life that I have felt a truly sexual being.

Meh

[whitelion26.livejournal.com]

We are who we are despite how people think of us

Re: Meh

[lupestripe.livejournal.com]

I completely agree and what I find is that people think of you differently to how you perceive yourself. It's really weird. I guess the best thing to do is to accept who you are and just get on with it. But that is really difficult for me to do.

Still, I am proud about my sexuality. Although it's part of who I am, it took a hell of a struggle to accept it and I am glad that I finally did :)